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The Notebook

25 May

Some people have asked me how I go about writing a post. Seriously, there are people who are curious as to what my creative process is. Why? Who knows. Perhaps to figure out what not to do when constructing what you hope to be a successful blog.

The life cycle of a post is different for each author. Some people type furiously, and click publish. Other people are more methodical, and choose to start with an outline and work from there. My process begins with with my undiagnosed case of ADD, and ends in random phrases jotted down in a notebook.

A notebook is a writer’s best friend, and you should have one with you at all times. My mind races a mile a minute, and I get posts for ideas all the times. Sometimes it’s just the title, other times it’s one sentence that will fuel an entire 800 word rant. Everything needs to be written down somewhere, and my thoughts always end up in my trusty notebook, on post-it notes, or on my arm.

Here’s a “behind the scenes” look at what happens before I submit my posts to the WordPress gods for public consumption. If you’re curious as to the finished piece which came from the scribblings on the notebook picture, you can click here.

All I need is a copy of Catcher in the Rye in my backpack, and I’m a criminal profiler’s prime suspect

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The Overly Friendly Skies

18 May

Credit: Mercola

I recently went on a business trip to the East Coast. Let me preface this entire story by saying that I don’t dig business travel in the least bit. Wearing fancy adult clothes (I’m a Pajama Jeans kinda girl) is not my idea of a good time, and well, you all know how I feel about work meetings. Additionally, the travel itself is pretty bogus. It usually involves getting up at an ungodly hour just so some disgruntled TSA agent can take a picture of my highly undesirable silhouette. I don’t even like those people seeing my fake weight when they check my license, why would I want them taking a peek at the hot mess that is my physique? Oh well, their funeral.

But I digress…

I kind of figured that the flight there would blow. I got stuck in a middle seat which means not only would I get screwed on leg space, but I could also toss any chance of elbow room out the window. If I was taking a hopper flight it wouldn’t have been so bad, but being sandwiched between two strangers for that long wasn’t something I’d done since college. Continue reading

How About We…

19 Apr

A lot has happened in the world of dating since I went off the market. I recently wrote about Yoke which is a social application that helps singles find dates through Facebook. Now I’ve stumbled on a site called HowAboutWe which allows people to post short blurbs of things they’d like to do on a date. Another user can see some basic information about you, the date you’d like to go on, and can can then send a message to arrange the outing.

As someone who not only has an undiagnosed case of Attention Deficit Disorder, but is also the laziest dater known to mankind, this appeals to my senses. I don’t want to answer philosophical questions about myself, or update my profile with information on the last great meal I ate. Hell, I barely want to brush my hair before taking a default picture. I just want to look at photos and decide who would be least likely to reject me if I tried to have sexy times with them.

When you login to the site you get a list of matches, and their meetup ideas.

Credit: The sexy portland singles on HowAboutWe.com

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Viciously Sweet: Jen and Tonic Edition

17 Apr

There are three reasons you need to hop on over to Viciously Sweet’s blog:

(1) She has amazing illustrations that just make life better

(2) She blogs about the professional knowledge her coworker, Eric, drops on the office. You don’t want to miss his nuggets of wisdom.

(3) This post features toast, talk of Jon Hamm’s sexiness, and a picture that makes me appear 100 times better looking than I do in real life.

Viva Viciously Sweet!

Viciously Sweet's avatarViciously Sweet

Since my return to the internet. I have not even come close to catching up on all the things I’ve missed.

But whilst perusing some of the internets I particularly love I found that Jen from Sips Of Jen and Tonic made a fabulous post about Sakura-Con. And where I have not Con’d in a while I still appreciate it. Read her post here.

And Then when I scrolled down the page of her post I feel like I met my destiny. To clarify she did not have a strikingly handsome picture of Jon Hamm posted on her site… what she did have is a picture of a glorious Toast costume.

And it was like this kismet moment that only happens in a Meg Ryan movie. I just knew that someday I needed to be dressed like a toast. That toast is my Sleepless in Seattle, it is my…

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A Weekend at Sakura-Con in Photos

11 Apr

This past weekend I made the short trip up to Seattle to attend Sakura-Con which is one of the largest annual anime conventions in North America. I’ve never been into anime (with the exception of Trigun) but my significant other is, and this was a birthday present to him. So we happily packed our bags and headed North for a weekend of anime antics.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Initially, I thought we’d just be watching anime all day, or attending discussion panels led by the creators of the various shows, but it included a lot more than just those things. They also had: cosplay chess, autograph signings, costume contests, a few dances and a rave, gaming, karaoke, exhibition hall, charity auction, fashion shows and Japanese culture workshops. There were literally things going on all day long, and it was unlike any convention I had gone to before.

The thing I loved the most were the costumes people came dressed in. I was amazed by the inventiveness and dedication to staying in character that some people had. There were obviously people who slapped together a quick Mario and Luigi costume, but there were others who spent hours putting together what they wore, or carefully applying their makeup. I overheard one girl say she spent three months and over $700 in fabric making her costume which was a large full-body wildebeest jumpsuit complete with mascot head. Seriously impressive, especially to someone like me who has a hard enough time hemming my pants.

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Facebook Friends With Benefits

1 Apr

I recently came across an article about a company, Kingfish Labs, which raised $500,000 to help develop a social dating application for Facebook.  You can sign up for their app, Yoke, and select whether or not you’re in a relationship. If you’re coupled you can act as a matchmaker for your single friends, and if you’re unattached the application will recommend users to you based on the commonality of your Facebook profiles.

There are a couple of holes in this plan:

  1. I love my friends dearly, but many of them have a hard enough time setting themselves up. Add the fact that most of us are highly undesirable dating specimen, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.
  2. A computer can only account for the things that are being said in a profile and not the things that aren’t. You wouldn’t know that someone was a hardcore KKK member until they started fitting you for your head cover.

A Dog’s Life

28 Mar

Chillin' like a villian
Credit: My mad photo skills

A woman I work with recently went on a trip, and asked me if I could watch her dog while she was gone. The dog comes to the office with her so it wasn’t a total stretch to ask me to dog sit for a few days. Still, you have to seriously question anyone who feels comfortable leaving their pet, child or elderly relative in my care.

We had a great time while she stayed with us. We did all of the typical things I expected: we went for walks,  did doodie duty, fed her, and let her wake us up at an ungodly hour on the weekend. What I didn’t expect was that her brief stay with us would be peppered with wisdom only a dog could dispense.

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Happy Mirthday!

13 Dec

 

My reaction to turning 30

“How does it feel now that you’re 30?”

I’ve gotten this question a number of times since turning the big 3-0 two weeks ago. I think everyone expected (and some hoped) that I’d have a nervous breakdown over this milestone birthday. Sorry to disappoint, but I care more about what’s happening between Sam and Ronnie on “Jersey Shore” than I do my own age.

It could have something to do with the fact that I’ve never gone beyond the maturity level of a 5th grader. Perhaps it’s because I grew up with a mother who aged very gracefully, and didn’t freak out over each passing year. The most likely cause of my jubilation is that, like a fine wine, I get better with age…and when paired with a kickass cheese.

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The Outsider

28 Sep

Credit: Adapted from Major Arcana

Being around groups of women makes me nervous. I’m not talking about the “I’m feeling a little anxious about meeting new people” type of nervousness, but in the “it feels like it’s raining from my armpits, and my bowels are in such distress I’m afraid I may crap my pants” way. My social skills have never been up to par (shocking, I’m sure) but they are especially terrible when I’m around other women. I can’t relate to most of what they’re talking about, and I find myself having to refrain from constantly making “that’s what she said” jokes.

All of my closest friends have always been men. This has never been by design; in fact, I’ve tried really hard to fit in with the ladies. I’m always on my best behavior at first: no swearing, abstaining from making a disgusted face when someone mentions a movie adapted from a Nicholas Sparks book, and keeping the fact that I’m wearing an adult diaper because of an impending backdoor blowout under wraps. Inevitably, my real personality comes out, and invitations to partake in “girls only” outings begin to dwindle.

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A Straight Shot to the Babymaker

10 Aug

Credit: Kent Marshall

I don’t have any children, and I don’t know that they’re really in the cards for me. A long time ago I decided that parenting seemed like too much effort; in recent years, I’ve realized I can barely take care of myself, let alone another person. I have enough trouble assembling Ikea furniture so imagine how I feel about putting together a human from scratch.

I don’t receive pressure from family or friends as one would expect; no, I receive pressure from casual acquaintances and strangers. If I have to hear what a “special gift” parenting is from some random person one more time, I’m going to rip out my fallopian tubes and strangle them with it. I don’t consider being saddled with a lifelong commitment to someone who will take more than they give a special gift. If I wanted that, I’d get back together with my ex-boyfriend.

Let’s assume I could guarantee that I’d have awesome kids: they could throw lightning bolts, bring me snacks using only the power of their minds, and clean up after themselves without being asked. I still wouldn’t want them. Why? Well, I’m afraid of becoming one of those parents.

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