Tag Archives: happy birthday to me

34 Going on 35

4 Dec

I turned 34 on Thanksgiving which means that I spent a lot of time reflecting on my life, the solution to the gun problem in America, and what it means to be human. Just kidding! I ate too much turkey, and did a number of regrettable dances in front of my family members.

Another passing year can only mean more wrinkles, more cases of not giving any fucks, and more time spent contemplating my strong eyebrow game. It also means it’s time for my birthday lessons post!

As some of you may remember, I thoughtfully stole this idea from a friend of mine. I didn’t ask him permission because anything you put on the public domain is up for grabs, and I was “inspired,” and [insert other excuses that will prevent him from suing me] (he’s a lawyer).

Without further ado, here are a few tidbits I’ve picked up in my 34 years of life. Continue reading

Happy Mirthday!

13 Dec


My reaction to turning 30

“How does it feel now that you’re 30?”

I’ve gotten this question a number of times since turning the big 3-0 two weeks ago. I think everyone expected (and some hoped) that I’d have a nervous breakdown over this milestone birthday. Sorry to disappoint, but I care more about what’s happening between Sam and Ronnie on “Jersey Shore” than I do my own age.

It could have something to do with the fact that I’ve never gone beyond the maturity level of a 5th grader. Perhaps it’s because I grew up with a mother who aged very gracefully, and didn’t freak out over each passing year. The most likely cause of my jubilation is that, like a fine wine, I get better with age…and when paired with a kickass cheese.

Continue reading

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