Nobody will ever accuse me of being a dating guru. I’m the most indifferent dater of all time, and I can’t think of many things that interest me less than going on a first date. This doesn’t mean my dating pool has been completely dried up; I’ve actually had a few serious relationships.
None of them worked out, but that doesn’t mean they were a complete loss. Each time one fell apart I managed to find wisdom among the pieces I was putting back together. What I’ve learned over time is that love isn’t about dating more, it’s about dating smarter, and that’s why I’ll never make these mistakes again.
Date a guy who is emotionally or otherwise unavailable.
Are you emotionally detached? Married? Hundreds of miles away? Currently serving a prison sentence? Still hung up on your ex? I’m not interested. If I’m going to be with someone I want to be with him. When someone doesn’t have the ability or desire to allow you into every aspect of their lives, you end up being second, third, fourth or even lower on their list of priorities. I’ve found myself feeling like a supporting character in my own relationship, and I deserve to have one of the two starring roles.
Give more than my 50%.
Relationships are like a high stakes game of poker between two people who are required to go all in. If one person doesn’t push their chips to the center of the table, the game cannot proceed. Not only does the game cease to be fun, but nobody is a winner. When someone is unwilling to do their part, what they’re really saying is that the relationship isn’t worth the investment of their energy and time. If it isn’t worth theirs, it isn’t worth mine. Continue reading
Sips of Jen and Tonic 