Tag Archives: bill friday

Beyond The Apocalypse

29 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 29

Topic: 2013 and beyond

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There’s this guy on WordPress named Le Clown. Haven’t heard of him? Consider yourself a (wo)man alone on an island because he’s kind of a big deal. He put up a post a couple of days ago talking about his plans for his blog in 2013, and graciously agreed to let me steal his idea and talk about what I’ll be doing on Sips of Jen and Tonic next year.

Of course, we might be getting ahead of ourselves here. If the Mayan calendars were correct, we’ll all be dust on December 21st, and any plans we had are going to explode into a fiery oblivion. What a downer those Mayans were. I’ve always had a problem with authority so I’m simply not going to let the apocalypse affect me.

Let’s start off by talking about what my plans were for 2012:

  • Money
  • World domination

All I wanted to do was make it rain

If my bank account and social status are any indication of how I did, I’d say that I didn’t meet either of those goals. On the plus side, my credit is now good enough to get a real cell phone instead of a prepaid one. Finally! A phone that isn’t endorsed by every drug dealer in the city.

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Writing and Radio

23 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 23

Topic: Writing and radio

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My time on WordPress almost never came to be. When I first started posting my ramblings for the entire internet to see, I was writing for another website. I spent four years there, and through a series of dramatic events, I left. I saw the writing on the wall well before my departure, and started this blog so I would have a place to put my stuff.

After I left, others started leaving for similar reasons to mine. We decided we needed a new home where writers could network and chat and post their stuff and support each other in their writing endeavors.

Expats Post was born.

This is a very meaningful project for me. When I first started writing, I didn’t believe I was a real writer. I didn’t think people would take you seriously if you used cuss words, or talked about your bowel movements.

My beginning pieces on the old site sucked donkey balls, but the other writers were still encouraging. They told me what they liked, and  didn’t troll me hardcore even though they totally could have. This gave me the confidence to continue sharing all of the noise going on in my head.

I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for these people, I wouldn’t have continued writing for anyone other than myself. I would have had a collection of very funny diaries. Community, in my opinion, is a very important part of a writer’s journey. Continue reading →

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Poetic License

2 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 2

Topic: Poetry

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Do you have that one friend who loves to torture challenge you because they love laughing at you think they’re helping you become a better person? Bill Friday is that friend for me. I’ve known him for about a hundred years now, and I’m not really sure how our friendship has lasted this long. Let’s review:

  • He likes breaded meat. I prefer not to eat things that feel the need to go into the Witness Protection Program.
  • He watches horror films, and I get scared looking at my face without makeup on
  • He has children, and my uterus cries at the idea of me ever getting pregnant
  • He’s a fantastic poet, and I think a sonnet is something Quaker women wear on their heads

This is probably Bill’s handiwork

Knowing all of the above, it should come as no surprise that my good (and I use that word loosely) friend suggested poetry as one of the topics for NaNoWriNO. I love flexing my writing muscles, but I wasn’t prepared to pick this on the second day of the challenge.

There are three things I’m good at: arm wrestling the elderly, staining a brand new shirt, and never backing down from a dare. I’m especially good at that last one. Why else would I have a tattoo of Wilford Brimley saying “YOLO” emblazoned across my chest?

Instead of crying over pages of Pablo Neruda and Lord Byron, I decided to get creative. Poetry isn’t just mushy words over love lost; poetry is carefully placed wording with the intent to evoke a certain emotion. I used the skills I acquired during my time with Hallmark, and conjured up a line of Jen and Tonic greeting cards. Continue reading →

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WKRP Portland

19 Sep

A few days ago I posted about my opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream of torturing the masses via radio, and it finally happened! I must admit I was a little nervous, but the host assured me it would all work out. He advised me to drink hot tea, and send him topless photos to calm my nerves.

My pumpkin brings all the boys to the yard
Credit: FaceInHole

Quite a few people showed up in the chat room, and I even had two callers. Granted, one of them was my parole officer asking me why I haven’t checked in with him in months, but still! The show was great fun, and I’d totally do it again if asked.

Some of you mentioned wanting a link to the broadcast since you weren’t able to make it. You can listen to the full show here.

For those who want to explore the links which were mentioned in the show:

Expats Post  (Excuse us while we’re under construction!)

“Lasagna With A Side of Advice” post

Bill Friday’s website

Radio show facebook fan page

If any of you are interested in becoming a member on Expats Post, or want to know more about the radio show, you can e-mail me at SipsofJenandTonic@gmail.com.

Thanks Lovers!

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Gracing The Airwaves

13 Sep

Some of you may not know this, but I’m kind of a Renaissance woman. I write, I hike, I craft, I wiggle my ears, I stalk David Hasselhoff, I make suggestive hand gestures to strangers. To be honest, I really do it all. However, the one thing I’ve always wanted to do but haven’t is be on the radio.

I’m not sure why. I’ve got the face for it, and I can talk endlessly about crappy music in yoga pants and a shirt with a questionable stain on it. I think it may have something to do with my foul mouth. Or my grating voice. Or my inability to speak into a mic without making those horrible popping sounds. Or how I love to say, “Check 1, check, check, check 1, check 2” over and over and over again.

A promo shot I sent to local radio stations. No callbacks yet.

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The Notebook

25 May

Some people have asked me how I go about writing a post. Seriously, there are people who are curious as to what my creative process is. Why? Who knows. Perhaps to figure out what not to do when constructing what you hope to be a successful blog.

The life cycle of a post is different for each author. Some people type furiously, and click publish. Other people are more methodical, and choose to start with an outline and work from there. My process begins with with my undiagnosed case of ADD, and ends in random phrases jotted down in a notebook.

A notebook is a writer’s best friend, and you should have one with you at all times. My mind races a mile a minute, and I get posts for ideas all the times. Sometimes it’s just the title, other times it’s one sentence that will fuel an entire 800 word rant. Everything needs to be written down somewhere, and my thoughts always end up in my trusty notebook, on post-it notes, or on my arm.

Here’s a “behind the scenes” look at what happens before I submit my posts to the WordPress gods for public consumption. If you’re curious as to the finished piece which came from the scribblings on the notebook picture, you can click here.

All I need is a copy of Catcher in the Rye in my backpack, and I’m a criminal profiler’s prime suspect

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