Tag Archives: new year’s resolutions

Obligatory New Year’s Post

9 Jan

Hooked on Tonics, I’ve been away for awhile. I received notes from a few of you expressing your concern:

“Are you going to come back? You’re the most brilliant (and beautiful) writer on the planet. You’ve spoiled me so much I can’t read anything else.”

“Come back or I’ll gut you like a pig.”

“What I really need is more cowbell, but since I can’t have that, you’ll do.”

You guys flatter me.

I’ve been very busy over the last couple of weeks. I went to California to spend time with my family for Christmas, and it was equal parts fun, terrifying and exhausting. Once I got home, I came down with the horrible flu/cold thing that has been going around. Additionally, a new role I’ve taken on at my job kept me a bit busier than I anticipated. In short, shit was cray.

I missed all of you, especially those who send me nudes on the regular.

Burt was the first person to follow this blog

SoJaT fact: Burt was the first person to follow this blog

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A Very Tonic New Year

20 Jan

In my previous article I discussed New Year’s Resolutions, and how typical resolutions bore me to tears. I suggested we should break away from the norm, and dare to do something different this year.  Normal resolutions are so vague (I want to be healthier, I want to travel, I want to read….stuff) that it’s no wonder 25% of us have already fallen off the bandwagon after the first week.

If we focus on a series of specific goals rather than unclear ideas, we’ll have a better chance of succeeding. This is why I thought long and hard about what I wanted to achieve this year.  After eliminating things such as “Drinking until I’m better looking” and “French kissing at least 50% of Hall & Oates” I came up with what I consider to be a pretty great list of things to accomplish.

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The NEW New Year’s Resolutions

1 Jan

Credit: Forever Alone Comics

Today is the first day of the year, and you know what that means: everyone is starting their resolutions! My Facebook timeline has been filled with friends promising to work out more, travel abroad, think more positively, find new jobs and other fairly typical aspirations for this time of the year.

BORING. It’s not that I dislike these resolutions, but can’t we mix it up a bit? Wanting to plant a garden? That’s so 2010. Learning another language? Don’t even get me started. Want to yell at your kids less? Let’s face it, we all wish you yelled at them more.

This is why I’ve taken the liberty of writing new New Year’s Resolutions, the ones I hope people actually stick to this year.

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