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House of Cards

NaNoWriNO Day 27

Topic: Greeting cards- the final frontier

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I didn’t intend to do another set of greeting cards as I have already done two posts like this during NaNoWriNO. In the comments section of the last post like this, a few of you requested specific/customized cards. How can I possibly say no? You guys have been kind enough to read this crap every single day for a month, the least I can do is give back a little.

To old wife from new wife (requested by UndercoverL)

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Tags: christmas, funny greeting cards, hooked on tonic, humor, mother's day card for bad mom, snarky birthday card, thanksgiving

Comments 81 Comments
Categories Misc., NaNoWriNo

Hallmark My Words

18 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 18

Topic: Greeting cards – Part 2

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What do Charles Bukowski, E. E. Cummings, Langston Hughes and Jen and Tonic have in common? They are all amazing poets who have not only gifted the world with their words, but also with their incredibly sexy bodies.

My Poetic License post seemed to be a hit, and really showcased how versatile and talented and ridiculously funny I am as a writer. Who else could marry herpes and Slurpees in the form of a sympathy card? A GENIUS.

Ready for Round 2? I am.

For the happy husband on his wedding day

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Tags: anniversary card, famous poets, funny greeting cards, graduation card, hallmark ain't got nothin' on this bitch, hooked on tonic, humor, wedding card

Comments 67 Comments
Categories NaNoWriNo, Relationships

My Baby Turned One!

16 Sep

Oh, please. You didn’t think I was talking about an actual baby did you? There’s a better chance of me pushing a Stretch Hummer Limo out of my Virginia Woolf than there is of me birthing a belly alien. I’m talking about my blog! Yesterday Sips of Jen and Tonic turned the big 0-1.

I honestly can’t believe it has been a year since I left a former site I wrote for and blazed my own trail. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a platform for becoming rich and famous. I figured in no time I’d be raking in dough so quickly the FBI would think I was operating a drug ring in my spare time. I’ve got star quality; unfortunately, it’s not apparent to anyone else but me and my mom.