Beyond The Apocalypse

29 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 29

Topic: 2013 and beyond


There’s this guy on WordPress named Le Clown. Haven’t heard of him? Consider yourself a (wo)man alone on an island because he’s kind of a big deal. He put up a post a couple of days ago talking about his plans for his blog in 2013, and graciously agreed to let me steal his idea and talk about what I’ll be doing on Sips of Jen and Tonic next year.

Of course, we might be getting ahead of ourselves here. If the Mayan calendars were correct, we’ll all be dust on December 21st, and any plans we had are going to explode into a fiery oblivion. What a downer those Mayans were. I’ve always had a problem with authority so I’m simply not going to let the apocalypse affect me.

Let’s start off by talking about what my plans were for 2012:

  • Money
  • World domination

All I wanted to do was make it rain

If my bank account and social status are any indication of how I did, I’d say that I didn’t meet either of those goals. On the plus side, my credit is now good enough to get a real cell phone instead of a prepaid one. Finally! A phone that isn’t endorsed by every drug dealer in the city.

Okay, so I didn’t achieve what I set out to do, but I did accomplish some pretty awesome things:

  • Created a body of work I’m (mostly) proud of
  • Put more time and energy into my Facebook and Twitter accounts so that they don’t look like ghost towns
  • Increased my readership 1300%
  • Met some really great people, some of whom are now my friends outside of WordPress
  • I will be completing NaNoWriNO tomorrow
  • Grew as a writer
  • Read a lot of great material, and wished I had written some of those things

Sometimes in life you don’t get the things you asked for, you get the things you didn’t know you wanted. I’d say my blog is a lot like that. I still kicked ass, just in a way I didn’t anticipate.

So what are my plans for 2013?

  • Continue what I started in 2012
  • Write from a personal perspective more often. I rarely did it before, but I like doing it, and none of you seem to mind.
  • Start my Phonics by Tonicβ„’ greeting card line (thanks to Bill Friday for the name!)
  • Let the blog evolve on its own, and follow its lead

My life has changed so much in the last year, and most of the things that happened I couldn’t have predicted. I think the same can be said for writing and world domination. You have to just go with the flow, and see which opportunities present themselves.

I want to take this moment to say THANK YOU to everyone who has been on this journey with me. I hadn’t been consistent earlier this year because of personal issues, and now I’m finishing the year by spamming your inboxes with my daily posts. For some reason you’ve all stuck around, and there are even new people who voluntarily signed up for this. Maybe one of my other goals for 2013 is not being so hot and cold with you guys. Nobody likes a tease.

Here’s to 2013, no matter what the Mayans say.


Thanks to Le Clown for granting me permission to write about this. His magnificence is unparalleled.

NaNoWriNO Day 28


73 Responses to “Beyond The Apocalypse”

  1. Madame Weebles 11/29/2012 at 8:18 pm #

    LOVE. I’m only sorry I didn’t discover your blog sooner in 2012, my life would have been so much more enriched if I had. Mazel tov on a great 2012—and assuming the world doesn’t explode on 12/21, looking forward to more amazingness from you next year!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:54 am #

      I don’t know how we danced around each other for so long. Thank god Le Clown righted that wrong. Looking forward to the collaboration!!!

  2. writerwendyreid 11/29/2012 at 4:23 pm #

    Jen, you are awesome and I’d continue to follow your daily posts forever if you continued. You are funny, kind and don’t seem to mind my at times over the top sexual comments. πŸ˜‰

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:53 am #

      Over the top sexual comments are highly encouraged. This is a safe haven for the perverted.

      • writerwendyreid 11/30/2012 at 2:50 pm #

        Woohoo! *Doing the dance of the perverted, while undressing and flirting with barely legal young men* πŸ˜‰

  3. GiggsMcGill Jill 11/29/2012 at 3:16 pm #

    As I feel that you’re becoming one of my blogging soul sistas – I happily await 2013 (which is totally coming! Screw you Mayans, I’ll come dig up your temples and find the rest of that calendar!)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:53 am #

      You are! From your very first comment I felt compelled to marry you. It must mean something.

      • GiggsMcGill Jill 11/30/2012 at 12:49 pm #

        Oh. Em. Gee! Totally means something! Even though I often inspire that feeling in people… πŸ˜‰

  4. Fern DeVilliers 11/29/2012 at 2:58 pm #

    Why do I get this feeling that your business plan for making cards will take off big time…hoping for the best for you!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:52 am #

      I hope so! If that’s the case, I’ll definitely be sending all of you freebies for a long time to come.

  5. speaker7 11/29/2012 at 2:51 pm #

    I want to high-five a bear so bad right now (I’m the eagle in this scenario obvs.) because I believe in you and your ability to reach your 2013 goals.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:52 am #

      You would be the eagle because you represent all that is good about this country. FUCK YEAH AMERICA!

  6. The Bumble Files 11/29/2012 at 2:20 pm #

    Congrats on a great year and wonderful blog, Jen. Good luck with the greeting cards! An increase of 1300% – wowsa!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:51 am #

      Well, my numbers going into 2012 were looooow so any improvement over that would have been impressive πŸ˜‰

  7. Christopher De Voss 11/29/2012 at 2:06 pm #

    Do you like animal crackers?

  8. Bill Friday 11/29/2012 at 1:30 pm #

    I am so happy that, in the course of the last year or so, you have gone from seeing the pending Mayan Apocalypse as the doom of all man and woman kind, to now seeing it as the dawning of the Age of La Tonicus! And while finally getting my own tag at the bottom of this post could legitimately qualify as a sign of the end of all things… if you’re that person who looks for doom at the every rainbow… fortunately,

    I am NOT.

    And with that, my tribute to everyone’s favorite virgin sacrificing, buzz kill of an ancient culture.

    Beautiful dreams of the future sit
    With those bold enough to kick ass of it
    Tomorrow’s not told
    But yours looks like gold
    Not destroyed by some Mayan bullshit.

    So… 2013 good for you?

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:50 am #

      A virgin sacrifice? You better look to another blog. Nobody here has been a virgin since the Nixon administration.

      The Age of La Tonicus, I like that. 2013 is good for me.

      Also, phat rhymes! You always leave a little class on this blog.

  9. UndercoverL 11/29/2012 at 1:21 pm #

    Oh, shit! I thought that the world was ending on the 23rd! I guess that’s what I get for buying my Mayan calendar at the dollar store. Damn good diversion tactic, though. I’d be totally stressed out for the 23rd when the end of the world came. Wouldn’t even know what hit me. I’d probably have thought it was a dress rehearsal. Now I have to recalibrate my panic for 12/21/12, not 12/23/12. This crap always happens to me. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am surprised I made it to my own birth.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:49 am #

      Wouldn’t you have been surprised if you woke up on the 22nd and nothing was there!

      • UndercoverL 11/30/2012 at 11:57 am #

        As surprised as I was by all four of my pregnancies! That’s for damn sure! (I think I figured out how to avoid pregnancy now, thank heaven.)

  10. Ericka Clay 11/29/2012 at 12:31 pm #

    Congrats on finishing your book and the whole non-druggy cell phone thing! I can honestly say you’ve become a favorite blogger of mine and I can’t wait to see what 2013 has in store.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:49 am #

      It’s nice not to have a burner phone, and have the cops question you every time a crime is committed near where I live.

      The thing I love the most about this challenge is how many new people I’ve met. I had followers, and I followed other people, but this let me get to know them on a new level.

  11. Paul M Chapman 11/29/2012 at 11:56 am #

    Although we initially met somewhere else, it’s been an honour to have followed your writing career to date. I hope that 2013 brings you riches and success galore- you absolutely deserve both.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:47 am #

      Thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement, Paul. You’ve been here since the very beginning! Happy to have you as my friend πŸ™‚

  12. becca3416 11/29/2012 at 11:27 am #

    I, Jen, actually do like a tease, but only in the form of strip by [insert name of my secret male blogger crush here].

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:47 am #

      Timmer? Chris De Voss? Le Clown? In the right light *I* look like a man. Are you trying to tell me something?

      • becca3416 11/30/2012 at 10:51 am #

        I’ll never tell!!!

        • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:57 am #

          Stupid Timmer and his SEXY MAN WAYS!

          • becca3416 11/30/2012 at 10:58 am #

            I KNOW, RIGHT?! …………..I mean……….. I don’t know what the hell your talking about. Who’s “Timmer”

          • becca3416 11/30/2012 at 10:59 am #

            YOU’RE .. so flustered.

  13. mabukach 11/29/2012 at 10:43 am #

    I have too much shit planned for Dec 21st, those Mayan assholes better not turn out the lights (presupposing the end of the world will happen at the hands of the Mayans, and not Xenu)

    Congrats on your ’12 – and good luck in ’13. Love your Phonics by Tonic Card Line.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:46 am #

      I didn’t even think about Xenu. My god, what if the world is overturned and Tom Cruise takes over? I’ll throw myself from a cliff before I let him stare at me with that toothy, smug grin.

      • mabukach 11/30/2012 at 10:57 am #

        I love that you hate tom cruise as much as I do! I used to sell ‘Deprogram Katie’ tshirts on cafe press – like to think I helped save her from lifetime of misery with that little troll.

  14. calahan 11/29/2012 at 10:17 am #

    Looking forward to reading more of your blog in 2013, but only if the Mayan prophecy of doom is wrong.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:45 am #

      Those Mayans better not cockblock this blog.

      • calahan 11/30/2012 at 11:09 am #

        Too much cockblocking is what made them disappear, me thinks.

  15. Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher 11/29/2012 at 9:52 am #

    WHOO HOO – you are fabbo, lady ~ I’ll see ya on Dec 22nd…post Myan destruction…

  16. iRuniBreathe 11/29/2012 at 9:15 am #

    Those greeting cards are definitely up your alley. And not a dark alley at that. (Sit down, Le Clown).
    I’ve definitely enjoyed getting to know your blog and look to it for inspiration.
    PS. I do read the tags on each post.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:45 am #

      I get all of my best ideas in dark alleys, and by “best ideas” I meant dates.

      I’m so happy that you’ve found me because that means I’ve also found you. I can’t wait to put more time into reading other people’s blogs again. Like you, I also get inspired that way.

      • iRuniBreathe 11/30/2012 at 10:51 am #

        Er, this is awkward. I didn’t realize you and Le Clown had dated?!! My bad. Let’s just leave that one be.

        Thanks for finding me by me finding you. I’m looking for feedback on my blog in general so perhaps one day I can pick your brain for ideas?

        • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:56 am #

          Yeah, absolutely! I love brainstorming/collaborating with other bloggers.

          • iRuniBreathe 11/30/2012 at 10:59 am #

            Perfect. I’ll send you an email.

          • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 11:15 am #

            Great! I’m on a mini vacay this weekend, but I’ll definitely get back to you.

  17. saradraws 11/29/2012 at 9:12 am #

    More cute cats, please. I hear there’s a pretty big void on the internet.
    (and congrats on a marvy 2012). xo

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:43 am #

      Cats playing piano, cats darting in and out of paper bags, cats with big eyes…totally untapped territory.

      Thanks lady! XO

  18. Le Clown 11/29/2012 at 9:08 am #

    Let the blog evolve on its own, and follow its lead… Fucking hippie.
    Le Clown

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:43 am #

      I couldn’t hear what you said over the sound of me hugging this tree

  19. daniheart21 11/29/2012 at 8:49 am #

    The world isn’t going to end. The Mayans believe it will end as we know it, that we will begin a new way of thinking, and we will celebrate the sacred feminine. I’m all for that. As for 2013…my plans are to let my inspiration run away with me. I hope to write lots of cool posts, gain a larger following on wordpress, take some amazing photos, and live a little bolder. πŸ˜‰ Awesome post Jen. πŸ™‚

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:42 am #

      Oh no, we’re going to believe in the sacred feminine? The most feminine thing about me is my vagina. I’m screwed.

      • daniheart21 11/30/2012 at 11:01 am #

        Trust me sweet Jen, you are not screwed. πŸ˜‰

  20. Storkhunter 11/29/2012 at 8:28 am #

    Phonics by Tonic sounds awesome. You blog is the best spam I have ever received and that includes all those “hot sex is waiting for you just around the corner” or those offering me penis enlargement and breast enlargement in the SAME email.
    Love your 2013 plans – I tend not to make plans because when I do God just laughs at me. Forget the doomsday Mayans – here’s to 2013 and world domination by Jen (remember who your friends are when you’re stroking that cat).

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:42 am #

      I am better than waiting sex?! I’m putting that on a business card.

  21. Love and Lunchmeat 11/29/2012 at 8:18 am #

    Plans for 2013… Wow, I hate planning, but since we will be homeless as of December 28th, I suppose buying a house should be on the list. (Not kidding.) And I love your more personal posts, especially when you tell me about your parent’s imaginary birth control in the comments section…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:41 am #

      Good luck on finding a house. As if the holidays weren’t stressful enough.

      And yeah, I need to put my parents through sex ed.

  22. MissFourEyes 11/29/2012 at 7:51 am #

    Can’t wait for Phonics by Tonic…….and your world domination

  23. Cathy Ulrich 11/29/2012 at 6:44 am #

    Spam away, Jen. I love reading your posts and save them until last so I can savor and comment. That’s sometimes the reason I’m late to the party. Congrats on all your accomplishments this year.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:40 am #

      You’re never too late for the party! This is like Vegas. We’re partying 24/7 here.

  24. Ruby Tuesday 11/29/2012 at 6:25 am #

    Jen, you are awesome and I love you and I am so glad to have met you this year (well, not really met met, but you know).

    I had something more and better to say, but my sleepies are kicking in, so brava will have to do. You are a fantastic writer and an incredible human being.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/30/2012 at 10:37 am #

      I hope you got good sleep after you posted this message. I’m impressed you held it together enough to comment πŸ˜‰

      I’m glad to have met you too, love πŸ™‚

  25. twindaddy 11/29/2012 at 6:14 am #

    I just recently start reading your blog and I’d like to say…keep up the good work. If you keep posting I’ll keep reading.

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