My Baby Turned One!

Oh, please. You didn’t think I was talking about an actual baby did you? There’s a better chance of me pushing a Stretch Hummer Limo out of my Virginia Woolf than there is of me birthing a belly alien. I’m talking about my blog! Yesterday Sips of Jen and Tonic turned the big 0-1.

I honestly can’t believe it has been a year since I left a former site I wrote for and blazed my own trail. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a platform for becoming rich and famous. I figured in no time I’d be raking in dough so quickly the FBI would think I was operating a drug ring in my spare time. I’ve got star quality; unfortunately, it’s not apparent to anyone else but me and my mom.

My parents consider me successful because I didn’t end up living in their basement

After a year of writing inconsistently and talking about the kinds of things you only share with a therapist, I’m still just a legend in my own mind. I’ve become infamous instead of famous, and I have so little money I’m only able to toss quarters at the dancers at my local strip club. The only interview I’ve had in the last year is when a cop stopped me and questioned me about the white powder around my mouth. I had to admit the only thing I’m addicted to are powdered doughnut holes.

But fear not Hooked on Tonics (post forthcoming on the Team Tonic name change) because this blog business was not a total bust. In fact, it wasn’t a bust in the least bit. I may not have gained Kardashian notoriety, and I may only still be rich in rock solid sex appeal, but I’ve gained so much more than I ever expected.

Practice makes perfect

Any writer will tell you that the only way to get better is to practice, and practice I have over the last year. Prior to having my blog, I pretty much just wrote at my leisure. This means that I’d write every single day for about 3 months, and then not write for several weeks. As a result, some of what I wrote sounded like something a meth head would compose in a rest stop bathroom. Having a blog has kept me more consistent than I used to be which has greatly improved by skills as a writer.

You may have seen my early work along I-5
Credit: butisitcanon.blogspot.com

A challenge of epic proportions

Because I used to write in a small pond, I became a big fish. When you’re a big fish you plateau because you get comfortable and don’t push yourself to be better. The day I registered for WordPress was a serious eye opener for me. I discovered there are a plethora of people who are funnier, better writers and bigger sex maniacs than I am. One would assume that I’d be scared off at the idea of going into the ring with such worthy opponents. On the contrary, I saw it as an opportunity to be in the company of people who will ultimately make me a better writer than I ever could have been on my own.

I shat my pantaloons after registering for WordPress
Credit: memegenerator.net

Focus Pocus

My mind is constantly on overdrive, and I really do believe I have an undiagnosed case of ADD. Sometimes I miss the small stuff because I’m already thinking about what will happen on a random Sunday afternoon in 2014. My blog has forced me to slow down and take in everything around me because inspiration is abound. You’ll find a great idea for a post at the grocery store, while watching YouTube, or when trying to upcycle old panties into a wallet. There’s no shortage of material in this world, you just have to be receptive to it.

Experiencing the finer things in life

Friends with benefits

This may come as a shock (not really) to some of you, but I have a hard time making friends. I don’t easily relate to others, and almost never feel comfortable enough to be my true self with people in real life. Blogging has allowed me to connect with amazing individuals from all over the world who “get me” in a way I didn’t think possible. Awhile back I realized that I care about some of the people I’ve met online more than those I know in real life. I no longer consider these people my “bloggy buddies” but my bona fide friends. Sometimes I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them.

Me and my closest confidantes

Thank you so much to all of my readers, old and new, for helping me reach my one year milestone. I appreciate all of the likes, comments and page views I get, and am excited when someone new follows my blog. I really do consider each and every one of you an important cog in the Jen and Tonic machine. I know I’ve said this many times, but I honestly believe in my heart I have the greatest readership of all time.

Thanks again for making Sips of Jen and Tonic a meaningful part of my life. I love you sexy little beasts.

Tags: blog anniversary, blogiversary, Carol Brady is a biatch, hooked on tonic, I'm a sex maniac, jen and tonic, sips of jen and tonic, why are you all so much better than I am