Oh, please. You didn’t think I was talking about an actual baby did you? There’s a better chance of me pushing a Stretch Hummer Limo out of my Virginia Woolf than there is of me birthing a belly alien. I’m talking about my blog! Yesterday Sips of Jen and Tonic turned the big 0-1.
I honestly can’t believe it has been a year since I left a former site I wrote for and blazed my own trail. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a platform for becoming rich and famous. I figured in no time I’d be raking in dough so quickly the FBI would think I was operating a drug ring in my spare time. I’ve got star quality; unfortunately, it’s not apparent to anyone else but me and my mom.
My parents consider me successful because I didn’t end up living in their basement
After a year of writing inconsistently and talking about the kinds of things you only share with a therapist, I’m still just a legend in my own mind. I’ve become infamous instead of famous, and I have so little money I’m only able to toss quarters at the dancers at my local strip club. The only interview I’ve had in the last year is when a cop stopped me and questioned me about the white powder around my mouth. I had to admit the only thing I’m addicted to are powdered doughnut holes.
But fear not Hooked on Tonics (post forthcoming on the Team Tonic name change) because this blog business was not a total bust. In fact, it wasn’t a bust in the least bit. I may not have gained Kardashian notoriety, and I may only still be rich in rock solid sex appeal, but I’ve gained so much more than I ever expected.
Practice makes perfect
Any writer will tell you that the only way to get better is to practice, and practice I have over the last year. Prior to having my blog, I pretty much just wrote at my leisure. This means that I’d write every single day for about 3 months, and then not write for several weeks. As a result, some of what I wrote sounded like something a meth head would compose in a rest stop bathroom. Having a blog has kept me more consistent than I used to be which has greatly improved by skills as a writer.
You may have seen my early work along I-5
Credit: butisitcanon.blogspot.com
A challenge of epic proportions
Because I used to write in a small pond, I became a big fish. When you’re a big fish you plateau because you get comfortable and don’t push yourself to be better. The day I registered for WordPress was a serious eye opener for me. I discovered there are a plethora of people who are funnier, better writers and bigger sex maniacs than I am. One would assume that I’d be scared off at the idea of going into the ring with such worthy opponents. On the contrary, I saw it as an opportunity to be in the company of people who will ultimately make me a better writer than I ever could have been on my own.
I shat my pantaloons after registering for WordPress
Credit: memegenerator.net
Focus Pocus
My mind is constantly on overdrive, and I really do believe I have an undiagnosed case of ADD. Sometimes I miss the small stuff because I’m already thinking about what will happen on a random Sunday afternoon in 2014. My blog has forced me to slow down and take in everything around me because inspiration is abound. You’ll find a great idea for a post at the grocery store, while watching YouTube, or when trying to upcycle old panties into a wallet. There’s no shortage of material in this world, you just have to be receptive to it.
Experiencing the finer things in life
Friends with benefits
This may come as a shock (not really) to some of you, but I have a hard time making friends. I don’t easily relate to others, and almost never feel comfortable enough to be my true self with people in real life. Blogging has allowed me to connect with amazing individuals from all over the world who “get me” in a way I didn’t think possible. Awhile back I realized that I care about some of the people I’ve met online more than those I know in real life. I no longer consider these people my “bloggy buddies” but my bona fide friends. Sometimes I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them.
Me and my closest confidantes
Thank you so much to all of my readers, old and new, for helping me reach my one year milestone. I appreciate all of the likes, comments and page views I get, and am excited when someone new follows my blog. I really do consider each and every one of you an important cog in the Jen and Tonic machine. I know I’ve said this many times, but I honestly believe in my heart I have the greatest readership of all time.
Thanks again for making Sips of Jen and Tonic a meaningful part of my life. I love you sexy little beasts.
Sips of Jen and Tonic 
Congratulations, Jen. It’s a fun blog. Keep it up!
Thanks Dean! Glad to have a fun family here on WordPress, and also at Expats.
Happy Anniversary, Jen! Will Hooked on Tonic come with flashcards? 😉
Of course. This blog is obviously educational and fun for the whole family.
Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom with us. We are the lucky ones. Keep on writing – I will be here to read every single post 🙂
I’m so happy writing brought us together!! You are one of the nicest people I’ve ever known, and I really value our friendship.
XO!
Yay, a year! I just realized I’ve been blogging for a year, but some of it was on blogger and was moved to WordPress (resulting in the posts looking crappier than they originally did) so I’m not sure if that is an official anniversary. Do you get gold unicorn stickers for the first anniversary?
I wish!! All WordPress gave me was a bill for renewing my domain name.
I didn’t read the comments because I should be cleaning. I would like to say that Hooked on Tonics made my day. As you do, every day. I wish we lived closer, because I need someone to drink with. Every day.
Congrats to giving birth in a way that didn’t make your vag prolapse! So did I, but I have a kid, so I feel only half qualified for this party. But that’s more than any other party I’ve ever been to. I’m so uncool.
I think the universe is keeping us apart because it’s afraid of what would happen to our livers if we were neighbors. Being together could DESTROY us. In the best way possible, of course.
No, Jen. IT WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD. And our livers. Possibly our brains.
Happy Oneth Birthday!
Thank you 😀
You just made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that! Happy Blog Birthday!
I aim to make you LOL as the kids would say. Thanks!
Congratulations on your baby’s birthday. I googled satirical blogs, and you were high on the list. I enjoy your wit and will be following your blog. As a fellow blogger (katevsworld.com), I agree with your perception that topics abound. They are at Starbucks, the mall, heck, even the women’s bathroom. Keep up the good work.
Best,
Kate
Kate, that’s awesome! I happy google brought us together. Google is not always a small blogger’s friend 😉
YES! The women’s restroom is actually a GREAT place to find material. With all of the “I can’t go poop until the other person leaves” standoffs we have in there, you think there’d be more talk about what happens in the bathroom.
Followed you back! Thanks again 🙂
Dear Jen,
You are a love. Keep doing what you’re doing, and anyone who matters will follow.
xoxo
GG
I’m happy to have met you! You’re my Makers and ginger ale partner in crime. I also strive to fight age the way you do. I’m still not 100% convinced you’re not 25, but I’ll take your word for it.
See? Exactly what I’m talking about. A Maker’s and ginger ale sounds SO good right now, but I’m in bed, about to go to sleep, which is boring but necessary to fighting age with the energy level I dedicate to the cause. 25 sounds even better, but only in a bar fight. Before I had kids I wouldn’t think twice before dumping a beer on some loser dude’s head, but now that I’m older, I’m usually holding a ridiculously overpriced cocktail, and who wants to throw away $12?
I get sad when I have to throw away half of an onion because it cost me, like, a dollar.
Congrats on your blogiversary, Jen! You are awesome and I’m so glad you’re one of my blogging buddies. 🙂
Thank you so much Janene! It has been so much fun getting to know you through writing. I can honestly say you’re one of the first people I read who made parenting sound really fun. Like a crazy adventure that is exhausting, but totally worth it!
Happy Birthday !! Looking forward to another awesome year .. since Im not allowed gin and tonic for at least 6 months , Jen and Tonic is the next best thing lol Xx
I’m the choice drink for those in recovery 😉
Haha , not quite recovery – although I didnt realise how much I loved drinking until I stopped – Im 4 months pregnant ! So its worse than rehab because I really couldnt even if I wanted to LOL xox
You’re pregnant?! Ohmigosh! Congrats 😀
Pretty soon you’ll be celebrating a REAL one year birthday!!
Thanks ! Oh it seems such a long way off now but I bet it will go quick ( I bloody hope the pregnant part does anyway lol !) Xx
I can honestly say that I adore you Jen. xo 🙂
Jen, congrats. You are so funny, wise and wonderful and you make me laugh. Loved the pics and captions. Yay youuuuuuuu!!!!!
Thanks Brigitte! I’m so happy to have you as a Hooked on Tonic 🙂
HAPPY BLOGOVERSARY!!!! I shall sing a tune for you! Wait. Let me find the correct song though…this might take a while…I will start by dancing 🙂 *ZOINGS around*
That sounds quite odd huh? Either way, I can not believe that a year passed! So much happened and look at the awesomeness that you did!! PLUS, this is only the beginning. I’m sitting firmly in the Tonic train, with my Tonic drink and my Tonic cupcake. Let the adventures in Year Two begin ❤ *raises glasses in the air and continues dancing*
I’ve only recently discovered you but you’re my Geddy Girl so I love you already. Mazel tov on your bloggyversary! I know what you mean about these bloggy people. They make it so easy to love them.
and lawd knows, it would be an empty place without you here… i still consider you to be one of the first people who ‘cyber-cheered’ me on. and i’m grateful for it. 😉 xo, sm
Oh, I’ve been a Sweet Mother groupie since Day 1! I will admit that when you started following my blog I did a little dance. It wasn’t sexy…more like someone who was coming off of Shrooms.
You’re one of the people I was talking about being a funnier and better writer than I am. I can’t believe the amount of great stuff you churn out EVERY SINGLE DAY.
You’re making the rest of us look bad.
Yay! Felicitaciones! Let’s get drunk
I need to come up with more anniversaries so we can get drunk more often.
cool! Although, all it takes to get me drunk is one drink. I’m a cheap date
Just how I like ’em
Happy one year anniversary Jen. I love to read your posts. It is good to know that Word Press scared you too. I always think of you as this tech savvy guru who knows her way around everything. 🙂 Your words always make me smile.
Oh, Dani…you’re so sweet! I do have some tech skills, but trust me when I say that we all start somewhere! WordPress was a learning curve since I had no formal training in internet stuffies. You’ll get there too!
You are a legend in my mind too.
What Ellis said! Happy Bloggiversary.
Can’t wait to get to know you. The name hooked me instantly! And your description of the likelihood of you birthing a human told me we must be long, lost friends who have yet to meet! It was perfection!
Congratulations!
Anyone who doesn’t want to birth a limo from their Woolf is an instant friend of mine.
Do you have a blog? If so, please link it! I’d love to look around.
Classic!
I do it is http:BettyRants.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
Thanks! I’ll definitely check it out 🙂
Is it okay that I want to kiss you right now? With tongue and everything.
Happy anniversary!!
Thanks John! You can help me celebrate by not sending me one of your Australian death spiders.
No worries, want a death insect, death snake, death fish, death plant, death shark, death vertebrae or death metal album instead?
I obviously did something to make you very angry with me.
Nah, I’m just trying to lessen the odds for my kids eating the wrong thing.
Oh thank god. I don’t stand a chance against Aussie strength anything.
Suppose, you’d never get to experience an ‘Aussie Kiss’ from some surfer bloke from Bondi than.
Glad to finally meet you! Any blog buddy of El Guapo’s is a friend of mine.
Likewise! Thanks for stopping by and saying hi.
I took a look around your blog, and you have a new follower in me.
Jen,
Not only are we WordPress buddies, but we’re also tight on Twitter and Facebook. You’ve been a pleasure to get to know. And as you know, every member of this family is hooked on Tonic (your trademark). Congrats on year one.
Eric
PS: When are you flying to Montreal again?
Eric,
We are tight in LIFE. I remember reading your comments on Sweet Mother’s post and thinking, “What kind of Canadian hooligan is this?” It was love at first sight. Thanks for letting me be a part of your lovely family’s life. It has meant a ton!
XO!
Jen
P.S. Claudia had hatched a plan to get me and Ruby up in your area sometime next year. There will surely be a Le Clown and Ringmistress stop.
Happy one year, my dear! You have been one of my favorite blogging finds, and I can’t wait to see what the next year holds.
You are one of my favorite friend finds! You are always so supportive. I’m glad the blogosphere (and Eric and Sara) brought you to me.
So you think! I found you long before I had ever heard of the delusional clown and his lovely wife. Though I will concede that it was through them that I found you on fb. However it happened, I’m glad we now know each other!
Congrats on a year, Jen!
Glad I stumbled in one day (no idea how), and glad you’re pushing on.
This is about the 10th recent one year anniversary post from blogs I follow, including mine.
Must’ve been something in the water that month…
Keep on rockin!
Your Royal Guapness- I HAVE noticed that there are a lot of one year anniversaries as well. We all drank a big bottle of KICKASS JUICE this time last year.
Would you mind posting the link to your anniversary post? I was away and missed a lot.
Alas, I let mine go unproclaimed.
May have been napping at the time, and what better way to celebrate most of life’s accomplishments?
Your welcome,,lol!! Your awesome and keep up the great posts gurl!
Thanks…on both accounts 🙂