How About We…

19 Apr

A lot has happened in the world of dating since I went off the market. I recently wrote about Yoke which is a social application that helps singles find dates through Facebook. Now I’ve stumbled on a site called HowAboutWe which allows people to post short blurbs of things they’d like to do on a date. Another user can see some basic information about you, the date you’d like to go on, and can can then send a message to arrange the outing.

As someone who not only has an undiagnosed case of Attention Deficit Disorder, but is also the laziest dater known to mankind, this appeals to my senses. I don’t want to answer philosophical questions about myself, or update my profile with information on the last great meal I ate. Hell, I barely want to brush my hair before taking a default picture. I just want to look at photos and decide who would be least likely to reject me if I tried to have sexy times with them.

When you login to the site you get a list of matches, and their meetup ideas.

Credit: The sexy portland singles on HowAboutWe.com

This is a language I speak. It’s immediate. It’s straight to the point. It’s fun. I needed to get in on the action! I set up a profile and posted these ideas:

So far, no takers. Romance is dead.

74 Responses to “How About We…”

  1. Bill Friday 04/20/2012 at 12:51 pm #

    You’re leaving out the obvious mash-up “How about we…” Stovepipe hat, penis KARAOKE!!! Nothing growls First Date quite like little Honest Abe doing Steppenwolf covers of the Stephen Foster songbook.

    Oh, and Abe drinks his Maker’s straight… with a Tonic chaser.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/22/2012 at 7:49 pm #

      Abe + Steppenwolf + Makers sounds like a GOOD TIME to me. You always were a party animal, Friday.

      (makes notes about Tonic chaser)

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  2. Viciously Sweet 04/20/2012 at 12:02 pm #

    I think you would be the most popular girl on the site! I almost died of laughter when reading about “curling up next to the fire to read Courtney Stodden tweets”… I think all your ideas together could make the most terrifyingly awesome day ever recorded in the history of days!

    • Jen and Tonic 04/22/2012 at 7:48 pm #

      “Terrifyingly awesome” should be my life’s tagline!!!

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  3. Lafemmeroar 04/20/2012 at 9:25 am #

    The toddler bit had me chuckling …

    • Jen and Tonic 04/22/2012 at 7:47 pm #

      Because you know I’d probably do it πŸ˜‰

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  4. Just Rambling 04/20/2012 at 8:02 am #

    That is so interesting. It’s just a very special way to find a mate. Also, I love how much fun things you wanna do together. Why don’t those lame guys just respond, huh? I mean, never again puke alone. It’s the cutest thing I’ve heard in my life. It’s good that you are off the market, Jen!

    • Jen and Tonic 04/22/2012 at 7:46 pm #

      The men in the US don’t know what they’re missing!! I would stand by them and let them puke for days. That’s how loyal I am!!

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  5. vinnythefox (@VinnyTheFox) 04/19/2012 at 10:08 pm #

    Right. Vodka+Tonic. As always. I was meaning to say how fucking awesome you are, but that would just be stupid.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 10:15 pm #

      Flattery is NOT stupid, and is required of all participants on Team Tonic.

      And yeah, Vodka + Tonic are the perfect combination!

      • TheVodkaKing 04/19/2012 at 10:21 pm #

        I’ll get to the flattery part when I manage to figure out which account details I should use. Things were easier when I was allowed to drink at work.

  6. vinnythefox (@VinnyTheFox) 04/19/2012 at 9:59 pm #

    I can’t f##king log into my new account, so that’s just brilliant. I probably look like some gay poser right now. We love groping you. With a drink in our other hand.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 10:04 pm #

      The fact that you knew that you had to have a drink in the other hand lets me know you’re not a poser πŸ˜‰

      J&T

  7. vinnyvodka 04/19/2012 at 9:49 pm #

    Fantastic. Ever groped a gay man? πŸ˜‰

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 9:51 pm #

      Yes, although, they’re usually the ones groping me. It’s the gay way.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  8. vinnyvodka 04/19/2012 at 9:41 pm #

    I happen to be bald, but I have always wanted someone to hold my hair back when I puke.

  9. saradraws 04/19/2012 at 6:16 pm #

    You’ve given me some excellent ideas for date night with Le Clown….

    • Stacie Chadwick 04/19/2012 at 7:15 pm #

      LOVE this. Quick question. Were you drinking a Maker’s and ginger ale while writing? Just curious.

      • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:26 pm #

        I was. At work. It was 6 AM. You know how I roll, Stacie.

        J&T
        Follow Le Clown

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:25 pm #

      I will gladly let you steal these ideas to spice up your marriage. Except, I imagine you won’t do the Gettsburg Address thing…I’m sure there’s a kinky Parliament replacement.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

      • saradraws 04/20/2012 at 8:23 am #

        NICE logo. Where did you get that little bit of magnificence? It’s very sexy.

        • Jen and Tonic 04/20/2012 at 8:50 am #

          The greatest French Canadian clown to have ever lived gave it to me. My life is complete.

          • Jennifer Worrell 04/24/2012 at 4:25 am #

            Damn commentile dysfunction…I coulda had me a little, too…

  10. Paul Chapman 04/19/2012 at 4:24 pm #

    Yep…I have to go with the general consensus and agree that the stovepipe hatted penis is awesome. But The Gettysburg address was delivered in only 200 and a bit words which doesn’t say much for the staying power of said penis- whereas, Fidel’s thrilling speech on “The Denouncement of Imperialism and Colonialism” is the longest speech given before the UN General Assembly, lasting almost 4 1/2 hours. There’s a lot to be said for communism.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:23 pm #

      Holy crap, that may be the funniest comment I’ve received on this blog yet. Women do like a man who can….give long speeches. Plus, communists are hot.

      Hysterical as always, Paul πŸ™‚

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  11. Janene 04/19/2012 at 11:33 am #

    Are you kidding me? Who wouldn’t want to have sexy times with someone who arm wrestles toddler! You’re right. Times have changed.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:22 pm #

      As they say, partners are like parking spaces: the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  12. atelian33 04/19/2012 at 10:17 am #

    What a great idea for a website. Also, I dunno if you’ve been following me around or not but most of my dates include challenging little kids to arm wrestling matches. 27-0 baby!

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:22 pm #

      You are an arm wrestling champ! I really hope that you shout, “BOOYAH!” in their faces when you win.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

      • atelian33 04/20/2012 at 7:54 am #

        Actually, I do it in the middle of the match. They get a little startled and then I finish them!

        BOOYA!

      • atelian33 04/20/2012 at 7:54 am #

        Actually, I do it in the middle of the match. They get a little startled and then I finish them!

        BOOYA!

  13. Katy Kern 04/19/2012 at 9:59 am #

    Freakin’ hysterical! God, I love this!! We must get together someday soon – I have a feeling I will giggle the whole time – you crack me up!1

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:21 pm #

      I will ROCK Florida someday soon. But I have to wait until the cooler months– we Oregonians melt when it’s above 70 πŸ˜‰

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  14. christine 04/19/2012 at 9:54 am #

    Hilarious. This, by the way, is a brilliant concept. If I were single, I would be addicted.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:20 pm #

      I know, right? Maybe you and your husband could join and just suggest dates to each other.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

      • christine 04/20/2012 at 7:08 am #

        Good god, that would be hilarious. I giggle just thinking about what they would look like.

        How about we… send the kid to her grandparents and paint the bedroom?

        How about we… garden until our pasty skin can’t take another minute of sun?

        How about we… talk all night? Or until 9:30. Whichever comes first.

        • Jen and Tonic 04/23/2012 at 10:38 pm #

          Amazing! You should write your own “coupled version” of this πŸ˜‰

  15. Main Street Musings Blog 04/19/2012 at 8:53 am #

    iiittss haarddd to tyyppe thiss becussz i’mm still jigggglinggggg.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:18 pm #

      IIII’mmmm sttttilllll jjjiiigggglllinnnngggg!

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

      • Jennifer Worrell 04/24/2012 at 4:22 am #

        Iiiiiiiiiiiiii’ve beeeeeeeeeen jigggggglllllllinnnnnnng alllllllllllll niiiiiiiighhhhht annnnd cooooould ooooonlllly tyyyyyypppppeeee thiiiiiiis coooooommmmmmennnnnt thiiiiiis mooooorrrrniiing…oh, good, it finally stopped….now I have to go make a hat….

  16. clownonfire 04/19/2012 at 8:43 am #

    Je vais reblogger ton billet, ma chum…
    Le Clown

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:17 pm #

      I’m sure that stands for “You’re so brilliant! How will I ever compare?” in French.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  17. tedstrutz 04/19/2012 at 8:33 am #

    Courtney Stodden… Hilarious!

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:16 pm #

      I’m glad you find it funny! What are you doing later? I’ve got this fire going, and her twitter page up…

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  18. Brian Westbye 04/19/2012 at 8:31 am #

    So, you’re officially off the market? 😦

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:15 pm #

      The CDC made me promise not infect the general population with my Tonicness. They pulled me from the shelves.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  19. Rob Rubin 04/19/2012 at 8:28 am #

    No takers? I was pretty sure the penis thing would woo over at least a few. Then again , being covered in a stovepipe hat kind of defeats the purpose I guess.

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:13 pm #

      Apparently men don’t like you to put a hat on their penis, and make it talk into a microphone.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  20. sweetmother 04/19/2012 at 8:27 am #

    Omg, hilarious. I read this on my phone and didn’t see the pix at first. My god, they are funny. I think the Lincoln hat date is my fave. Lol. Xo

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:12 pm #

      When I go down to LA we’ll have to meet up and do some of the things from the list. Maybe arm wrestle some gaybies?

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  21. Lill and Jill 04/19/2012 at 7:54 am #

    I’ve always wanted to try that Ode to Abe, I’m just really bad with crafts apart from macaroni art….Lill

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:11 pm #

      With the size of some men’s junk, all you’d need is a piece of macaroni.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  22. daterofboys 04/19/2012 at 7:51 am #

    Hahahaha – penis with tiny stovepipe hat…ahahaha…could have given one to the guy I saw on the subway today πŸ™‚

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:10 pm #

      You should have! Nothing says “average Thursday” like putting a tiny hat on a stranger’s penis!

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  23. lizziecracked 04/19/2012 at 7:28 am #

    I am SO THERE!! How much FUN!! I’ll let you know what I come up with… but I LOVE our ideas and if no body had jumped on that yet then it’s THEIR LOSS … I’d pick you..just sayin

    • lizziecracked 04/19/2012 at 7:30 am #

      YOUR ideas…y the y didn;t want to appear..sheesh

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:09 pm #

      Lizzie, it’s good to know that if one of us had a penis we could fulfill everything on this list.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

  24. El Guapo 04/19/2012 at 7:07 am #

    Great effort. I’m sure you’ll get some…interesting hits.
    You know, if you had the stovepipe hat and I wasn’t happily married…

    • Jen and Tonic 04/19/2012 at 8:08 pm #

      If that whole marriage thing doesn’t work out, call me. I’m hosting a “four score and seven years ago” party this weekend.

      J&T
      Follow Le Clown

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Friday Foolishness – Meta Edition | Guapola - 04/20/2012

    […] are some of the posts that left an impression on me this week. Sips of Jen and Tonic found us a great new dating site. Kayjai got very punchy working late. More than once. Morezennow unlocked one of the mysteries of […]

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