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Mating Call: Men

6 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 6

Topic: Dating – part deux

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Yesterday I dropped a little dating knowledge on my lady Hooked on Tonics, and thought it was only fair to do the same for men. I’ll admit, that post was a bit difficult to write because when I went through the list of offensive things I’ve done on dates, there was enough to create a trilogy. I had to narrow it down to what normal women should or shouldn’t be doing on dates.

I’m sure none all of you are wondering how to land a hot mess lady like me. Despite my obvious animal magnetism, and raw sex appeal, getting my attention isn’t as hard you’d think. All you need to do is shower regularly, have a pulse, and abide by the following guidelines.

Drunkin’ Donuts

Having a cocktail on a date is totally acceptable, and can be a good way for both parties to loosen up and feel a bit more comfortable. It’s when one drink turns into five drinks, and you’re doing body shots off of a cougar you met while fetching your date a drink that it becomes an issue. The night will end with you wetting your pants while crying about your dad not hugging you enough as a child, and she’ll end up removing her Match.com profile as soon as she gets home. Jen approved alcohol consumption: The moment you get the urge to dance on the bar top to “She’s My Cherry Pie” it’s time to cut yourself off.

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