My birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I’ll be waving goodbye to 31, and saying hello to 32. I’m not one of those people who dreads her birthday; in fact, I’ve enjoyed getting older. There’s a certain confidence and wisdom I’ve gotten after experiencing a few things, and settling down a bit.
There’s no denying that you can run from aging, but you certainly can’t hide from it. I think I’m still pretty young at heart, but I’ve definitely noticed that some things have changed over the last 10 years.
Dating
21: Want a guy who is in a band
31: Want a guy who won’t ruin my credit score
Breasts
21: Above my waist
31: Saying hello to my belt buckle
Finances
21: Pay $120 for jeans because YOLO
31: See a $5 fee on my cable bill and call to have it removed because I won’t let those Commie bastards take my money
Partying
21: Leave around 10 so as not to get to the bar too early
31: Make sure I’m home around 10 so I can watch Matlock reruns before bed
Drinking
21: DRINK ALL THE LIQUORS
31: Have to stay away from tequila because of something stupid I did right after I turned 21
Sleep
21: I’ll sleep when I’m dead
31: I need more sleep because I feel like death
Facial hair
21: Wax/shave/pluck religiously
31: You win, chin hairs
Music
21: All my favorite songs are played on Top 40 stations
31: All my favorite songs are played on Easy Listening stations
I want to know: have you noticed your age catching up to you?
Sips of Jen and Tonic 
I might have to steal this one being that I turn 50 this year. I love this. So funny, and so true how things change. Some pretty cool things have come and gone in my lifetime so far. It’s weird to be able to say that you have seen the rise and fall of some major technological advances. 🙂
Yes, please steal! I’d love to see what you come up with.
🙂
Dating:
21: Dated long term. Way past the expiration date.
31: Quickly breaks it off. I know when this isn’t going anywhere.
Finances
21: Dad, can I have some money?
Drove a fancy sports car that I couldn’t afford.
31: Dad: Can I borrow some money?
Paid off car and it is a multi use vehicle.
Partying:
21: Got dragged into the Party. What? School, then a 6 hr drive to Vegas with our BFs, an all day meeting at UNLV, and partying after. Sure!!! 🙂
31: Only goes out for REAL special occasions. Mentally prepares for how tired I’ll be the next day.
Friends:
21: Too many. I “thought” I really knew them.
31: Can count them with my hands. I “know” I know them well.
Jen,
Have any friends that are still living like they are 21?
I have a few, but most of the people who kind of got frozen in time got left behind. We ended up growing apart because we were at such different places in our lives.
And about the dating thing…yes! When you’re younger you tend to hold on to something for far too long. I’m not perfect in this arena, but I’m much closer than I was then.
25: No bras, no worries. 35: No bras, do laundry.
25: First cup of coffee at Noon. 35: Stop drinking coffee at Noon.
25: Spend $120 for one dress. 35: Spend $120 for four dresses.
Yup. Life has changed.
Yes, yes, yes! When I was younger I remember loving the idea that I could purchase nice things. Now I pride myself on finding a good deal.
The main way I feel my age catching up to me is that I sweat the small stuff so much less than I used to. It’s much harder to ruffle me. Well, that and the fact that my knee cartilage is thinning thanks to years of high-intensity exercise. That kind of sucks.
Creaky knees! And yes, I’ve noticed that certain smaller things don’t grate my nerves as much as they used to. I can’t wait until I’m super Zen because I would kind of love that.
Jen, I could SO relate to this post and was laughing out loud throughout the whole thing. I, too, am usually not bothered by birthdays but three days ago I turned 25 and this one got to me. Of course, it’s not so much about the actual number as it is about where I thought I’d be when I hit this number. I am “status post breakup” and graduate school withdrawal, wondering what comes next. Every month brings a new shower for another friend having a baby or a wedding or a baby and a wedding and then there’s me…but then again, I know a lot of my in-the-process-of-getting-married friends are sometimes envious of my glorious freedom (and I admit, I love it too!) so there are pros and cons. Anyway, I swear the day after I turned 25 my forehead wrinkle was a little deeper and I saw more gray hairs popping up than I care to admit. It’s happeningggggg!!! I guess what I want to know, moving forward, is why can’t I have a guy who is in a band and ALSO won’t ruin my credit score?? Is that too much to ask!?
I had a freakout at 25 as well, and I think for the reasons you mentioned. My whole life was in flux at a time when so many people I know settled down. Interestingly, a lot of those people are now in flux, and I’m more settled even though I’m still in transition. Life has a funny way of working out.
Jen –
LOVE this blog idea – too funny! I just turned 40 this year, and like you, I really don’t mind being my age. There are definite perks: a little wiser, more comfortable in my own skin, less apt to give a shit what people think about me, etc.
Here are a few of the biggest differences I’ve noticed…..
20: Shop for lacy bras at Victoria’s Secret.
40: Shop for old lady “minimizer” bras in department stores, but keeps it a secret.
20: What do you mean girls get facial hair?
40: Competing with my husband to see who has the sexiest 5 O’Clock shadow.
20: Don’t trust anyone over the age of 30!!
40: Don’t trust anyone under the age of 30…. especially near my car, house, wallet, or teenage daughter.
20: If it’s too loud, you’re too old!!
40: Turn that shit down before I beat you to death with your own radio.
20: Get embarrassed about trips to the gynecologist.
40: Are genuinely curious about all the crazy shit that’s happening down there, and join your doctor during his explorations like you two are the vaginal equivalent of Lewis & Clark.
Linda
Legit just laughed out loud! I also buy minimizer bras which is basically saying you don’t care about sex appeal anymore. But damn, are they comfortable.
Also, I’ve noticed that I am also really curious about what is happening down there. I told my gynecologist that I feel like my vagina is trying to communicate with me by acting up all of a sudden.
Is it bad that at 25 I related to almost all of the 31 year old scenarios? Does this mean by the time I’m actually 31 ill be 37? It probably has something to do with being married to a 40 year old 😉 although sometimes I swear I’m older than him.
You’re in a good position because you still look 25, but aren’t as dumb as most of us were when we were 25.
A number of our family members died young, knowing they would take wrinkles and yes even chin hairs, for a chance to see another birthday has for sure kept us focused on celebrating the birthdays we get to have.
Such a great outlook, and so true. Premature death really puts vanity into perspective!
Oh, you’re never too young or too old to wrangle chin hairs or call someone to bitch about a fee. I’ve been droppin’ the, “I can take my business elsewhere,” since age 18.
“I can take my business elsewhere” is a line I wish I had known years ago. It’s amazing how dropping the competition’s name also helps.
At 51…. You regret ever buying that life insurance policy at 31..
At 51…. You see a beautiful 31 year old woman and say, “She’s young enough to be my daughter.”
At 51… You start to drink Probiotic drinks and think they taste good…
At 51… A co-worker says he was born the year you started working for the company…
Oh God I can’t take the pain… Take me now…
I like probiotic drinks. We should totally hang out and clean our poopers together sometime.
Yes… And when they ask you “What did two do one your first date….?” You better say we saw Wicked… Colon cleansing…second date:) You got talent my friend!
I think once you’ve cleaned our your bowels the next step is marriage. There really is nowhere else to go from there.
Thanks!
I truly have no come back for your last statement… Checkmate.. Oops I knocked over the board…
Hey, whoever has you in their life better know they are lucky. You are incredibly smart and witty…. Hasta lombego..
Thanks, omt. I’ll be sure to tell all of my potential suitors they’ll have to deal with you if they step out of line.
Yes refer them to me! I can pinch like no ones business! I can bully them with my sharp tongue too…
I’m staring 50 in the face, so, yeah, I’ve noticed LOTS of things have changed as I’ve aged. Mostly, though — and this is weird — I have more patience for some things and NONE for others. Back to the whole “you are wasting my valuable time” thing again, LOL!
In terms of bands, I try to stay current. And, by “current” I mean that I’ve just discovered come new bands, namely, “Cold Play”, “Radiohead”, and “The Killers”. So, yeah, I’m pretty “hip”!
We are the same person, aren’t we? I’ve noticed that my patience for certain things grow while my patience for others is lessening. Why is this? The scream of a child doesn’t bug me as much as it used to, but teenagers talking in those valley girl voices bugs the crap out of me.
OMAGAWD, YAH.
I laughed out loud at this post! I completely agree with all – in fact, I called Verizon this past week about a random fee of six bucks and they removed it. 😉
JERKOFFS. Glad they gave it back to you!
I look at the marquees at Radio City Music Hall and Madison Square Garden and these giant venues are being sold out by bands I’ve never even heard of. Some of them sell out two or three nights in a row! Seriously, do you have any idea who Paramore is?! Or MGMT?! Because I don’t and they sold out the Garden! I used to keep my finger on the pulse of music. What the hell happened? Don’t say it. I know.
My youngest sister is 18, and came to stay with me during the summer for a few weeks. We took a road trip, and in the car songs would come on and I’d say, “Who is this?” She knew them all, and 50% of them were names I didn’t recognize.
I just turned 32 a few months ago, but according to your post, I started being 31 around age 26 or 27. I’ve always been very mature for my age….
Old souls UNITE!
Hilarious. And it sounds like your 31 is remarkably similar to my 41.. ach.. I always was immature.
31. If the ATM dispenses it, I’m spending it
41. Pondering if my 401k choices are still ok now that I’m less than 20 years from RETIREMENT
FYI = thanks for the shout out yesterday.. you doubled my readers!
401k scares me. IRA scares me. Retirement scares me. I’m getting older, but I’m not sure I’m growing up.
Oh, and you’re welcome! Awesome of you to support the cause!
Considering I’m not even 20 yet, I feel like I don’t have any right to be here, but this: “21: Pay $120 for jeans because YOLO
31: See a $5 fee on my cable bill and call to have it removed because I won’t let those Commie bastards take my money”
apparently means I have a mental age of 31. $120 for a pair of pants seems ludicrous to me.
Hilarious as usual, Jen! 🙂
If this is how you feel you are WAY ahead of the game. When I think about how much money I’ve wasted over the years I feel sick inside. Besides, $120 jeans are $30 jeans with a fancy label on them.
Reblogged this on aidatours and commented:
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You are most welcome!
Happy pre-birthday!
Someone asked me my age the other day. I had to check my drivers license.
It’s not the years. It’s the mileage.
(That line stolen shamelessly from Raiders of the Lost Ark.)
I have already forgotten my age as well. Someone asked me how old I was and said, “32. Oh, wait. No…November 1981. That would make me 31 until my birthday.”
I didn’t realize that I had a problem with 40 until it happened. Suddenly, I needed a brown bag to breath into and a shot of something harsh to calm my nerves. Most of the men in my family have died pretty young, except my dad who’s only 63. Whenever I get a new pang in my chest or head or stomach, I assume I’m dying, otherwise it’s really not so bad. I have young kids so that helps me feel younger than I am like Darla’s lab partner. Happy birthday!
40 seems to be a critical year for a lot of people. A friend’s mom had a near nervous breakdown when she turned 40 years ago, and she still hasn’t accepted it even though she’s over 50 now.
Stay healthy, Don. We need you around.
Yes, I’ve noticed. Especially the morning last week when I could make a lovely beaded cornrow with my gray chin hairs. Also, my lab partner is 21 and can officially be my daughter. Oh, and my best friend is a grandmother now and she’s 42, one year younger than me. So yeah.
But I feel exactly the same on the inside as I did when I was in my 20s. I just don’t give a rat’s ass about what people think anymore. So it’s kinda great getting old. happy birthday!
I think a beaded cornrow of gray chin hairs is the perfect mix of gangster and style I’ve been looking for.
Haha! This has been in the forefront of my mind since I turned 35 a couple of months ago. I don’t really mind getting older much either, but I feel it a lot more lately. I’m the same way on finances, going to bed early, and drinking. It takes about three days to recover from a hangover now, so I just don’t do it much anymore. I hope you have a great birthday!
You’re 35?! I thought you were younger than I am! Damn girl, pass the anti-aging cream.
Haha! I would not have guessed your age either (and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t kind of make my day because I feel like an old fart all the time now).
I’m not even sure if I’m trying to be funny anymore when I add “the” to everything these days. The Facebook, The Twitter, The sex. The fuck…is a Snapchat?
I’m 43, and I’m constantly reminded of how old I’m getting by my teenage daughter! The caring less what people think thing is a definite advantage the older you get. I feel sorry for my daughter seeing the anguish of keeping up with what’s expected, and worrying all the time about what people will think, it’s rough! Particularly the constant worry that her 43 year old mother will embarrass her by not acting her age!
You’re absolutely right! The not caring is the best part of aging. Maybe this is why I love getting older, because my life seems less pressure cooker-ish.
Well Jen, I hit 61 in about four months, so you’re a babe in arms.
Babe-in-arms sums it up nicely! I am 63 but in my head I am still 18! Seriously though, my 30s were fan-bloody-tastic, and I wish you as much fun as I had! Word of advice – at 31 you are too young to make jokes about facial hair….it is a serious issue.
You are going to be 61?! I thought you were in your 30’s. Where did I get that idea?!
I really have no idea, but thanks anyway. That’s made my day.
PS. I’ve booked an appointment for you at the oculist.
I noticed changes in my attitude when I turned 36 last year. I questioned the whole blue nails, dressing like a sloppy teen craziness. Then I decided I was too old to give a damn what anyone thought and I would keep carrying on.
Most of the other stuff you listed applied to me when I was 30-31, except for the radio. Satellite radio is the greatest invention ever, particularly the 80s station.
I dress like a teenager too! Who are these people who become sophisticated as they get older?
I am convinced whoever they are that they have more time and disposable income than I do or ever will have.