21 vs. 31

13 Nov

My birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I’ll be waving goodbye to 31, and saying hello to 32. I’m not one of those people who dreads her birthday; in fact, I’ve enjoyed getting older. There’s a certain confidence and wisdom I’ve gotten after experiencing a few things, and settling down a bit.

There’s no denying that you can run from aging, but you certainly can’t hide from it. I think I’m still pretty young at heart, but I’ve definitely noticed that some things have changed over the last 10 years.


21: Want a guy who is in a band

31: Want a guy who won’t ruin my credit score


21: Above my waist

31: Saying hello to my belt buckle

saggy breasts, getting older, boob meme, someecards


21: Pay $120 for jeans because YOLO

31: See a $5 fee on my cable bill and call to have it removed because I won’t let those Commie bastards take my money


21: Leave around 10 so as not to get to the bar too early

31: Make sure I’m home around 10 so I can watch Matlock reruns before bed

matlock, matlock meme, humor,



31: Have to stay away from tequila because of something stupid I did right after I turned 21


21: I’ll sleep when I’m dead

31: I need more sleep because I feel like death

taking a nap, nap meme

Facial hair

21: Wax/shave/pluck religiously

31: You win, chin hairs


21: All my favorite songs are played on Top 40 stations

31: All my favorite songs are played on Easy Listening stations

mister mister, broken wings, car stero

I want to know: have you noticed your age catching up to you?

152 Responses to “21 vs. 31”

  1. Robbie 11/13/2013 at 10:03 pm #

    I think we all have a bad tequila story…or a good tequila story that makes drinking it eveer again very very bad idea.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:08 pm #

      You’re probably right. Tequila is a tough liquor to face when you’ve had too much.

  2. iRuniBreathe 11/13/2013 at 9:13 pm #

    Nothing wrong with Matlock reruns! That, and Law & Order, only seem to be on around bedtime. Must get home from the party to watch the ‘good’ tv shows. I like your wisdom.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:06 pm #

      LOVE Law & Order! I also used to be a huge Murder She Wrote fan.

  3. mabukach 11/13/2013 at 8:44 pm #

    This. So much this. We are so kindred spirits. Nothing like a warm glass of milk whilst watching that wily Matlock.
    When’s your b-day exactly? Mine’s the 24th, I’ll be 33 – and I’ll raise a nice glass of cabernet to you. I’m not allowed to do shots anymore because I wrecked my liver at 21.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:06 pm #

      We need to host a “Milk & Matlock” party. Make sure to end it by 9 so everyone can get home and in bed by 10.

      Happy pre-birthday! My birthday is the 26th. Saggittarius, unite! I’ll pour a little liquor out on your birthday.

  4. glendaherdman 11/13/2013 at 8:44 pm #

    I am 52 in a couple of weeks. Aging is a natural thing. Even though your body may be showing signs of getting older your mind just gets better. Life and aging is about how you think and feel. If you choose to feel old you will be old.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:05 pm #

      “Even though your body may be showing signs of getting older your mind just gets better.” Great way of putting it, and exactly why I’m not afraid of getting older.

  5. REDdog 11/13/2013 at 8:08 pm #

    What is it they reckon? Growing old is inevitable but growing up isn’t…
    21.drink like a fish…41. drink my 21 yo fish-arse under the table…
    21.fight like 10 men…41.is 10 men all you got?
    21.make hundreds of women fall in love with me…41.make my wife fall in love with me hundreds of times.
    Old age? Easy peasy

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:04 pm #

      “41: make my wife fall in love with me hundreds of times.” Sounds like you totally get what aging is all about. Love that.

  6. legendarypurple 11/13/2013 at 8:07 pm #

    It sure has. I get mad at young people more easily. Also, I hate their music. 🙂

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:03 pm #

      I know. I seriously don’t understand a lot of new music these days.

  7. Seven 11/13/2013 at 8:04 pm #

    Your way to young to be worried about saggy breasts and facial hair.
    Give it a few decades.

    And yes with being sixtyish comes a certain maturity either that or senility.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:03 pm #

      In a few decades I’ll be kicking my tits around. 60 is the new 50 is the new 40 is the new 30 is the new 20. WORK IT.

  8. PinotNinja 11/13/2013 at 7:39 pm #

    I am really good at forgetting that I am 33 until about 7:30 am on a Saturday morning, when my very crabby old lady body likes to remind me that I can no longer booze, dance, and eat pizza into the wee hours of the night without having serious repercussions that involve rummaging through my medicine cabinet for such sexy gems as tums and excedrin while cursing with a voice that sounds like that of an 88 year old smoker. It’s really a special level of pathetic. What happened to the days when I could do that on a Tuesday and then roll straight into work like it was no big thing?

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:02 pm #

      I was just talking to someone about that the other day! How I used to party all night like a rockstar, and then work the next day. Now if I don’t get at least 7 hours of sleep I feel like death warmed over.

  9. georgia + darlin' 11/13/2013 at 5:44 pm #

    bah!! this made me chuckle; it’s all true. i just had a panic moment when i read this, too. i said aloud, “wait, georgia, am i 31 or 32!?” my first moment of losing track. is this a bad sign? i’m 32, by the way. i think the year we “forget” equals the year we are in denial! // happy early birthday!! may you find a man with a credit score of 800.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:01 pm #

      YES! I might be in denial. Maybe I’m conveniently “forgetting” my age. Oh, and wishing me luck in finding a man with a credit score of 800 is an amazing present.

  10. Kylie 11/13/2013 at 4:26 pm #

    Girl–I’m going to be 40 in a couple weeks. FOOOORRRRTTTYYYYY. You are a baby. A mere baby. I felt old at that age. I believe my exact terminology was “faded” but little did I know. So little.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:00 pm #

      I can’t imagine what I’ll be like at 40. Surely I will have invested in a perm by then.

      • Kylie 11/15/2013 at 9:21 am #

        Well, if you’re like me, you may be “lucky” enough to have random, public-like, white hairs sprouting out from your head at all angles. Invest in hats. Hats, Jen. Hats.

  11. Paul 11/13/2013 at 3:38 pm #

    I just turned 33 in October and Lou 34 a fortnight ago and although I still feel fairly young some things have definitely changed. Dressing gown, pj’s and slippers are a must and I can sleep round the clock at weekends through choice rather than hangover. I’ve noticed that things that made me depressed at 18 now seem like comedy and the gut I wish I’d had at 18 ( I was 8 stone until the age of 22) won’t budge irrespective of diet and exercise. I have the back of a gorilla and am noticing more grey hairs. I definitely feel happier at this age though. I like the contentedness of mid 30’s life in not worrying about girls etc. Just wish I could press pause and stay 33.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 10:00 pm #

      I need a dressing gown. People in the US don’t wear them like you guys do across the pond. I need to invest in one for sure.

      It’s amazing how, despite things sort of “breaking down” how much better people feel as they get older. I’d love to freeze myself in time too.

  12. kelsgonebush 11/13/2013 at 3:37 pm #

    I knew I was past it when Nirvana came on the easy listening channel :/ lol Xx

  13. beckysaysthings 11/13/2013 at 1:48 pm #

    Ohhhh so true. I am 28. Two things have started happening more frequently recently: 1) I find myself having intense discussions about electricity bills, boilers, where to buy the best spatulas, and the annoyance of ovens that don’t heat up quickly enough. 2) I find myself doing that classic middle aged thing of holding words far away from my face, making a very peculiar scrunched up expression and saying ‘Is it dark in here?’
    Hello, age. Happy birthday Jen x

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:58 pm #

      Oh, totally. I got excited when I went shopping and they had cookware on sale. I came home to my roommate and proudly boasted a new pan, and a set of ramekins.

      What has happened to me?

  14. biancacmarais 11/13/2013 at 12:55 pm #

    “She is guilty of being old as fuck”. Classic! That’s going to keep me tittering for a while. I like getting older – I find it takes the pressure off. Also amazing how your definition of “old” changes every few years. I’ve now decided that 97 is old.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:57 pm #

      I remember when my older cousins were turning 30 and I thought, “Holy crap. Just kill me if I get that old.” Now I think, “60? Spring chicken!”

  15. oldmainer 11/13/2013 at 11:48 am #

    Growing old is like riding a roller coaster. There are highs and lows, laughter and tears, and sometimes, you pee yourself a little bit.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:55 pm #

      The circle of life. You start this life peeing yourself, and end it that way.

  16. michellestodden 11/13/2013 at 11:10 am #

    Yes, yes, yes– except for the guy in the band thing. I’m a magnet for men with guitars. I have no clue why they gravitate toward me. Accountants, not so much. I must repel numbers and logic. So… I take what I can get.
    I turned 40 in June and I am happier than ever. I definitely need more sleep than I used to (although I do have the Maya to help exhaust me), I can’t drink like I used to (nor do I want to), and I have to keep a closer eye on my diet, but I feel better now than when I was in my twenties and thirties– especially mentally and emotionally. I’m far more balanced.
    The one thing I can’t seem to do is become an old lady music-wise. I love music and stay fresh by checking out new indie rock/alt rock/whatever on songza. In fact, when we were visiting Maya’s dad, his teens were giving pop quizzes on which band was playing overhead at a hip restaurant and I could answer all. He couldn’t answer any. Yeah, I know, I know… but it’s the small wins for me.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:55 pm #

      Accountants seem like the sexual equivalent of a mop. Sorry to all accountants out there who are tigers in the sack!

      I am going to have to consult with you on new music so I can stay hip. It’s tragic how much Phil Collins I listen to.

  17. La La 11/13/2013 at 11:01 am #

    Soon we are going to have full beards. I just know it.

  18. Soul Walker 11/13/2013 at 10:54 am #

    I really haven’t. I have only noticed me catching up to my age. When I was a child people told me I was an old man trapped in a child’s body. When reached double digits people told me I had an old soul. When I was in highschool a teacher regularly called me “old boy” on purpose (it was not a joke and we both knew who Lao Tzu was). I haven’t noticed any real changes now that I am 34. My body hurt when I was ten; it hurts now. I had pain and grief then; I have pain and grief now. I liked to laugh then; I like to laugh now. I think that now I am just a bit more tired than when I was twenty-one… although, I’m not completely sure about that…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:53 pm #

      Interesting that you feel like you’ve caught up to your age. You must have a COMPLETELY different perspective on aging that most people.

      • Soul Walker 11/15/2013 at 12:04 am #

        Not caught up… slowly catching up. But still, you are probably right. Also, get off my lawn.

  19. Psychobabble 11/13/2013 at 10:12 am #

    Word to all of those. Especially the $5 fee thing. They will feel my rage through the phone.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:46 pm #

      Me: “What is this $7.50 for?”

      Comcast guy: “Boost fee.”

      Me: “No.”

      CG: “No?”

      Me: “Yeah, no. Not paying it. I hate booster shots. I hate booster chairs. I hate booster fees.”

      CG: “um…okay?”

  20. meltycheese 11/13/2013 at 10:05 am #

    SO true!
    I turned 33 a couple weeks ago and wrote a parody song of Taylor Swift’s 22 called 32 for my blog. Things have definitely changed…
    I just started following your blog the other day after your freshly pressed article. I’m really enjoying it. Thanks for the laughs!

  21. Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon 11/13/2013 at 10:03 am #

    WHAT a *KICK ASS* breath of fresh air your blog is! Love your honesty and “Tell it like it is” attitude. I will always be a “Work in Progress” as I’ve been in recovery almost 7 years, AND, live with mental illness. I have about 20yrs on you as I turn 51 the end of this month. What do I have to say about that?……AGE is nothing but a number! “SO BRUNG IT”!…LOL….I’m a new FAN, and will Visit Often! 🙂 Author, Catherine Lyon 🙂

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:44 pm #

      Thanks, Catherine! And you’re right, age is nothing but a number. I definitely see myself as someone who is on the geriatric side, but sometimes I bust out and do the craziest things that someone should have outgrown by now. Like when my roommate bends over and I make a farting noise. Kills me every time.

      • Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon 11/15/2013 at 10:21 am #

        LOL…LOL…*AWESOME*!! Yes, I may live life in *Recovery* But I DO LOVE LIFE and LAUGH at it at times TOO! Hugs! *Cat* 🙂 🙂

  22. writerwendyreid 11/13/2013 at 9:25 am #

    First of all, Happy Birthday Jen! xo Speaker7 is also celebrating a birthday this week. Your posts are so funny. In fact, I like this one so much that I might borrow the theme for a future post if you don’t mind. I’ve noticed though, when I read yours, that I am STILL doing a lot of the things I did when I was young…and I’m turning a fuck of a lot older than 32 next spring. Maybe it’s my “I outright refuse to get old” attitude. I can’t see myself ever changing that, in fact, it gets stronger as I get older. I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in blood and that’s the way I’m going to leave dammit! :-p

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:43 pm #

      Oh, absolutely, use it for a future post.

      You are definitely a little pistol so it is NO surprise that you are still very youthful. I was also born 20 so I think I’ve always been an old fart compared to everyone else my age.

  23. EuphonicCharity 11/13/2013 at 9:14 am #

    I cried when I turned 25 because it meant that I was closer to 30 than 20. But it really hasn’t been so bad. Save for the fact that I just realized a Disney Movie that came out when I was a kid (and that still bears “new” connotations in my mind) is over a decade and a half old. @_@

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:42 pm #

      During Halloween, the movie “Hocus Pocus” came on a bunch of times, and one of the channels was doing a 20th anniversary special for it. 20 YEARS. Made me feel reeeeaallllyyy old.

  24. Brother Jon 11/13/2013 at 9:05 am #

    Yeah, this is funny because it’s true. I’ll be turning 32 in a couple of months so I know exactly what you’re talking about. For the music, now I catch everything on the top 40 stations….I used to listen to hard rock radio, Metallica, Korn, Tool, Limp Bizkit. Now those are a bunch of things that give me indigestion.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:41 pm #

      I used to love loud rap music, but now it thumps so deeply that I can feel it in my chest, and it makes me uncomfortable.

      • Brother Jon 11/15/2013 at 7:17 am #

        Oh, I still like rap music, but not too loud. I almost picked up the new Eminem album yesterday. I really like Flo Rida and Mackelmore too.

  25. The Byronic Man 11/13/2013 at 9:01 am #

    One of the things that surprises me most is when I’ve found myself somewhere with people in their early 20’s. I would have expected to feel like ‘Wow, I miss this. Oh, to be young and care free and blah de blah!’ but instead I mostly felt like they were just so tedious and insecure and really, really dumb. I’m glad they’re having fun but, yeesh.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/14/2013 at 9:40 pm #

      THIS. SO MUCH THIS. I thought for sure I’d be that weird girl standing around at a college party, trying to pretend she’s young enough to hang out there. Now I go to bars and I think, “Put on more clothes! You’re drinking too much! Are you old enough to be here?”

      • mytwistedroad 11/14/2013 at 10:25 pm #

        Excellent comments Byronic and Jen. I thought I was just getting older, but it was just that I was getting wise.

        I think next time I’m invited to a “kid’s” birthday, I’ll have to kindy decline. I’m too old for the loudness, drama and the bullsh**! 😉

Sound off on this Sip

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: