Call Me

20 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 20

Topic: Why don’t men call when they say they’re going to


I feel like I’ve talked a lot about relationship stuff during NaNoWriNO. I’ve definitely had fun with it, and am happy for all of the suggestions I get. Still, it’s like calling your dentist and asking her to come fix the electrical wiring in your house. It’s best to leave that to a professional.

Women have been frustrated for years (decades? centuries?) over the “ask for my number and never call” bit that men do. You’re flirting with a guy at the bar, he says he’ll be in touch, and then you never hear from him. “Why?”

The better question is, “Who cares?” I only date good guys, and that’s not an accident. I don’t waste my time on guys who play mind games, use the words “fun” and “casual” when talking about relationships, and don’t call when they say they’re going to. If that’s their version of impressing me, imagine how they’ll be when we’re comfortable.

If you’ve given your number to a guy, and he hasn’t called yet, here are some things you can do to occupy your time:

Watch a little educational programming

Try to figure out what he hell this girl is talking about

Tend your garden

Help me figure out how I can get my hands on this

Go out and get some exercise

Find out what possessed Matthew Gray Gubler to take these pictures

Settle in and read a good book

Or, my favorite…



Thanks to my girl Wendy from Wendy’s Work for suggesting this topic.

NaNoWriNO Day 19

NaNoWriNO Day 21

82 Responses to “Call Me”

  1. Ruby Tuesday 11/20/2012 at 7:33 pm #

    Pretty much the only thing more stupid than a guy who gets your number in a bar and doesn’t use it is a girl who thinks that guy was a major loss.

    Then again, I have never in my life given my number to a guy in a bar, so I may be wrong to make that kind of judgment.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 12:00 pm #

      You don’t have to give out your number like that to know it’s dumb. I don’t understand literally waiting by the phone, or crying over a guy who wasn’t decent enough to call. Of course, I suffer from extreme apathy about dating.

  2. speaker7 11/20/2012 at 3:11 pm #

    Oh sweet christ. The acquisition of that teapot has become my 4th life goal.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:59 am #

      We need to hold the Etsy seller hostage until he makes more.

  3. La La 11/20/2012 at 12:19 pm #

    Matthew….no. Just no.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:58 am #

      I had a huge crush on him, but those totally killed my lady boner.

  4. Emily @ The Waiting 11/20/2012 at 11:59 am #

    Those pics of Mathew Gray Gubler are glorious.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:57 am #

      They might be some of the best things I’ve seen on the internet yet.

      • Emily @ The Waiting 11/24/2012 at 5:48 am #

        Yes. Pretty sure it’s for stuff like this that Al Gore invented the Internet.

  5. calahan 11/20/2012 at 11:07 am #

    I have to Google who Matthew Gray Gubler is. Does that mean I officially suck, now?

    • Maggie O'C 11/20/2012 at 11:39 am #

      I had to, too. I think it means we are individuals of great intellect and an insatiable curiosity regarding really awful glamour shots.

      • calahan 11/20/2012 at 11:40 am #

        That’s just a flowery way of saying that I suck. 😦

        • Maggie O'C 11/20/2012 at 11:42 am #

          Then we must suck together.

          • calahan 11/20/2012 at 11:44 am #

            Through thick and thin, then.

      • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:56 am #

        Absolutely. And I don’t care if you don’t know who MGG is, the fact that you love bad glamour shots is good enough for me.

    • UndercoverL 11/20/2012 at 1:24 pm #

      I, also, have no clue. I am part of the “Suck, party of three.” I do know who Lionel Richie is and that the reason people in South Africa and The Iraq (Irack?) don’t have high education such as we do is because most United States of Americans don’t have maps. It makes a difference. If we had maps, they would *automatically* be more educated.

      • calahan 11/20/2012 at 1:51 pm #

        I never thought about it, but you’re right. If we could work harder in school and give maps to South Africa, then people could make learning of maps and educate and Jesus.

      • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:57 am #

        I’m surprised any Americans made their way to this post considering the lack of maps.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:55 am #

      No, you don’t suck. If you have a chance you should watch the show “Criminal Minds” because it’s really good, and also because it’ll be funny to see how serious and think-y he is on the show. All you’ll be able to think about is him flashing his magic cards.

  6. iRuniBreathe 11/20/2012 at 10:14 am #

    None of this “call me, maybe?”
    I’m with you on this one. I guess the same could apply to texting and emails.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:55 am #

      Oh, absolutely. I understand people get busy, but if you can’t send a two second text to let her know that? Forget it.

  7. Bill Friday 11/20/2012 at 9:38 am #

    The only thing more disturbing that those pictures of MGG would be pictures of Paget Brewster with her finger up her nose. And really… is there a time limit for call-backs from guys who are interested?

    And if so, how long? 6 months maybe?

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:54 am #

      6 months is a REALLY long time. She would have to be very forgiving, or totally in love, to allow that to happen.

      Paget Brewster with her finger up her nose would break your heart.

      • Bill Friday 11/23/2012 at 12:44 pm #

        Oh, I’m sure there could be worse things than Paget Brewster with her finger up her nose. Like maybe Carrot Top with HIS finger up Paget Brewster’s nose. Or David Hasselhoff becoming a Vegan. Or Tom Cruise going into therapy… wait… okay, forget that last one.

        And yeah, you’re right. 6 months really should be a deal-breaker……. unless.

  8. MissFourEyes 11/20/2012 at 9:09 am #

    Those pictures of Matthew Gray Gubler made my day

  9. Viciously Sweet 11/20/2012 at 9:00 am #

    Get it girl. I have finally realized I want to be around someone worth my time. So I love this post in 4-7 more ways than I can put into words. I’m loving this post a day thing from you!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:53 am #

      You deserve the best, don’t settle for less. If he is, you need to pull a Taylor Swift on him and cartoon-ize him on your blog.

  10. aliceatwonderland 11/20/2012 at 8:57 am #

    I want that tea pot too. Helloooo.

  11. Madame Weebles 11/20/2012 at 8:54 am #

    WORD. Just Motherfuckin’ WORD. That is all.

  12. Dani Heart 11/20/2012 at 8:50 am #

    Love this Jen. He definitely isn’t good enough. 🙂 On the money post. Very funny. lol

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:51 am #

      I’ve proven that you CAN hate the player and you CAN hate the game.

  13. Words for Worms 11/20/2012 at 8:49 am #

    I may or may not have a teapot collection. Okay, I totally have a teapot collection. My life will never be complete without the Lionel Richie teapot. I feel empty.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:50 am #

      Once you add the Lionel Richie teapot to your collection, you will have the most valuable collection in the world. No doubt.

  14. Heidi Carroll 11/20/2012 at 8:45 am #

    I say just stock up your toybox.

  15. becca3416 11/20/2012 at 8:30 am #

    I think it is just part of an internal game for some guys. The challenge of getting the number to stroke the ego, but no real intention of dating.

    The shake weight commercials should be considered masturbation porn. Just saying.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:49 am #

      You’re probably right. It seems like the biggest waste of time. I can think of a million things better to do than try to get a guy’s phone number, and one of them is using my Shake Weight.

  16. saradraws 11/20/2012 at 8:25 am #

    uh huh, gurl. you said it. that’s the truth right there. your fine as don’t need no playas.
    Am I getting the sassy girlfriend thing right?
    Well, maybe not, but I’ve been pretty busy looking for Miss Teen South Carolina on a map.

    • Bill Friday 11/20/2012 at 9:19 am #

      So would this be the right time and place to drop some “The Amazing Race” knowledge into the conversation? I believe it was Miss Teen South Carolina who was victorious (along with her boyfriend) on a fairly recent season of the Emmy-winning show. Which proves that you don’t have a map (like every other U.S. American) to win a million dollars.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:48 am #

      I read this and did about ten triple snaps. I even had my hip cocked to one side, and my neck was rolling.

  17. Ericka Clay 11/20/2012 at 8:24 am #

    I have that Lionel Richie song stuck in my head now and my day is automatically 73% better. I’ve also printed out and put that Matthew Gray Gubler pic in my wallet. I just feel like today is a win.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:48 am #

      I think that MGG picture can cure anyone’s sadsies. How can you look at him with those magic cards and not be happy? He’s a sexy magician!

  18. Lafemmeroar 11/20/2012 at 8:17 am #

    lmao on the FV pic! Perfect 🙂 If a man doesn’t call …. then you can just call him a “jerk off” then read the “f&ck” out a book. You’ll probably get more pleasure out of it than hearing his voice anyway …

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:47 am #

      Agreed! Let him go on his merry way while you live your life.

  19. DUH'Merica 11/20/2012 at 8:09 am #

    I love that video, makes me almost piss myself. Cracks me up that little girls everywhere still want to be just like her. Thanks a lot Kardashians.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:46 am #

      Isn’t that video the worst? I remember watching it live and thinking, “This has got to go viral.”

  20. writerwendyreid 11/20/2012 at 7:45 am #

    I recently spoke to one of “those guys” about this very topic and he had the crazy misconception that he was doing the girl a FAVOR by asking for her number, even though he never had the intention of calling. It seems that we are too dumb and weak to be able to handle the fact that a man may not want to see us again after tonight so we must go home with the false hope that he will call and we will see him again.

    I told him that I owed him a huge punch in throat for all the women he’s left waiting by the telephone and that maybe he could think a little more of us and a little less of himself in the future.

    I don’t think he’s looked me in the eye since then.

    But you are right. Men like that are losers and don’t deserve our time, attention and definitely not our tears. Getting THEIR number is a good idea. I kind of like the idea of being in the driver’s seat anyways. 🙂 xo

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:46 am #

      I do think men are too scared to tell us the truth. I know that some women freak out, but that’s such a low percentage of women. Most of us are kinda stable.

      Honestly, I think men are afraid to hurt our feelings. I believe most men are good, and they don’t want to be a jerk, and make a girl upset. Avoidance isn’t the answer, but I don’t think their intentions are bad.

      You get in the driver’s seat, girl. VROOM VROOM.

  21. Storkhunter 11/20/2012 at 6:52 am #

    I love the pics of Matthew Grey Gubler – especially the one where’s he’s posing like a 16 year old girl at a sleepover. Criminal Minds will never be the same again.
    Oh and Americans don’t have maps!! Could be an explanation as to why they don’t call.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:43 am #

      He DOES look like a girl at a sleepover! Ohmigod, I’m laughing so hard.

  22. Love and Lunchmeat 11/20/2012 at 6:47 am #

    Try not to die of jealousy, but a friend of mine owns that teapot. And your advice is solid, but there a lot of girls who hear the word “casual”, and think it sounds like a fun challenge…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:43 am #

      WHAT?! Please tell me it is as sweet in person as I imagined it to be…

  23. Combat Babe 11/20/2012 at 6:39 am #

    I never give my number. I’ll take there’s if they are incessant and decide if I want to call them or not. I think all girls should do it my way.

    • Combat Babe 11/20/2012 at 6:41 am #

      Wow I made a blunder I never make, that’s fantabulous. *their’s (pre-coffee is my excuse)

      • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:43 am #

        Typos are welcome on this blog. I make them all the time. Although, as a writer, I know that it’s a thorn in our side when we do things like that.

        Also, smart move on getting his number. Put the ball in your court.

  24. Cathy Ulrich 11/20/2012 at 6:25 am #

    Amen, Jen. Amen!

  25. Daan van den Bergh 11/20/2012 at 6:05 am #

    You go girl!

    Oh, wait, let me sound less gay before I continue…

    I seriously want that teapot too.

    • writerwendyreid 11/20/2012 at 7:47 am #

      I’m sorry…but if you were going for less gay, admitting your desire for that teapot was NOT the way to go about it. 😛

      • Daan van den Bergh 11/20/2012 at 8:09 am #

        Are you sure? A teapot seems like a very masculine subject of conversation.

        • writerwendyreid 11/20/2012 at 8:12 am #

          Especially when there is a picture of Lionel Ritchie on it.

          • Daan van den Bergh 11/20/2012 at 8:15 am #

            I know, right? He’s like the most masculine guy on the planet.

          • writerwendyreid 11/20/2012 at 8:30 am #

            …next to Richard Simmons

    • Jen and Tonic 11/23/2012 at 11:40 am #

      Teapots are for REAL MEN!

      • Daan van den Bergh 11/23/2012 at 11:44 am #

        That’s what I thought. Especially one that says: “Is it tea your looking for?”

        I don’t think there’s something more manly than that.

        Teapots are the shit!

        HOODIES 4 LIFE!

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