This post started out as an explanation of why I broke up with Facebook. As I was working my way through the original draft, it became clear to me that there are other chapters in my life I need to close as well.
I’ve dabbled in writing my entire life, but it wasn’t until early 2007 that I began trying to put my work out there for others to read. I joined a “citizen newspaper” online which allowed me to connect with other amateur writers, and publish content which didn’t fit into other sites I had previously joined.
I strayed from writing after a couple of years due to personal issues, but found my way back a few years later. Unfortunately, the site was sold during the time I had been away, and was no longer a hospitable environment. I needed a new place to hang my hat which is why Sips of Jen and Tonic was created.
I didn’t know what to expect when I first began this blog. I hoped to see some familiar faces, and meet a few new people who would eventually become familiar faces. I wanted to learn and grow not only as a writer, but also as a person. The main goal for Sips of Jen and Tonic was to be a space space for crazy people.
I’m proud to say that I got all of that and more.
I finished NaBloPoMo (which I’m sure was created by the devil himself) twice, wrote countless guest posts, helped create and execute Blogger Interactive, was Freshly Pressed twice, and managed to convince thousands of people to follow my blog. I also met a multitude of interesting people hailing from all walks of life who had compelling stories of their own to share.
Sadly, with the good came the bad.
As with any online gathering place, you’ll meet some truly amazing people, but you’ll also cross paths with narcissists, sociopaths, liars, cheats, hypocrites, misogynists, zealots, sycophants and generally unsavory types.
The first time I saw this on WordPress was when a fellow blogger (and former reader of this blog) started posting inappropriate and childish ramblings (usually disguised as really bad poetry) about his ex-wife. After the first couple of posts came out I chalked it up to a broken heart, but it became clear this guy was just vindictive and exploiting his readers for self-satisfaction.
While I was able to unceremoniously unfollow him, he would still comment on my blog occasionally, and I would see his name pop up here and there. I use him as an example, but there were dozens of other people I had to unfollow for similar (or significantly worse) reasons. In my real life I can carefully pick and choose whose energy I want around me, but online it isn’t so simple.
Then, last year, I was contacted out of the blue by four separate people I had distanced myself from (and for good reasons). I believe one of them had been spying on me through a mutual friend’s Facebook page, and the other three had been reading my blog and thought it would be nice to get in touch. The warm fuzzies they thought I’d be feeling felt a lot more like a deep wound being reopened.
Not to be outdone by 2013, 2014 presented two situations which absolutely devastated me. I won’t go into detail about either of them because I’m still really hurting over both of them, but I will say that two “friends” I had come to know and love through writing ended up being wolves in sheep’s clothing. I’ve learned there are more of those than you think online.
All of this got me thinking about what it means to share your life with the world, and the risks associated with that. I’ve been working very hard to heal myself the last few years, and I realized I’ve knowingly put myself in the path of people who could possibly hinder those efforts. This not only isn’t a smart thing to do, but would be considered self-sabotaging if I continued.
Additionally, all of this self-improvement has brought on a new me who didn’t exist before. The Jen and Tonic people have come to know and love says and does all of the wrong things, drinks too much, is crass and crazy and generally a mess. Alas, Jen and Tonic is someone the real Jen no longer completely embodies or even recognizes anymore. The real (new) Jen has a good job, just bought a house by herself, is a pretty responsible person, and rarely drinks. That doesn’t make for funny or interesting blog material though.
Because of everything I’ve outlined above, I’ve decided to put Sips of Jen and Tonic on an indefinite hiatus. Orson Welles said if you want a happy ending that it depends on where you stop your story. I want a happy ending for my blog so this is where I’m stopping this story.
The great thing about blogging is that where one story ends, another begins. I’ll remove myself from WordPress and it won’t matter because there are thousands of people who can take my place. Life will go on as though I was never here.
I will forever be grateful for everyone who supported me in this endeavor, and indulged me while I shared tidbits of my life with you. I hope that I made you laugh or cry or think or anything in between. I want you to know that if we had any kind of interaction here on WordPress, you made an impression on me.
I will miss all of you.
Sips of Jen and Tonic 
Good luck Jen. Sad part I just discovered you and your talent. Take care of yourself
You will have my unending support whatever you choose to do going forward. I’m desperately saddened that you’re leaving your writing behind- but you’re my friend first and foremost and I’m happy that having weighed everything up you’ve reached a decision that helps you achieve that.
I sincerely hope we don’t lose touch and please know that I’m here- always.
Yours,
Paul
Good luck! Sad to see you go but completely understandable.
Congrats on the new house as well and may you enjoy all future endeavors.
I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog, and I wish you well in the future. It makes sense to move on if your blog no longer depicts who you are. But if you decide to come back with a different blog, I hope you’ll seek me out so I can give you a follow. Good luck!
The most important decisions we make are the ones that keep us healthy, physically and mentally. Enjoy the next part of your journey. You will be missed.
My Dad used to say “You gotta do what you gotta do.” And clearly, this is what you feel you gotta do.
Thank you for the many laughs, and the heartfelt insights you’ve given me. I have no doubt that life will be good for you, and that you will be able to write write write…So I say good luck, good fortune to you.
I’m sad to see you go and I wish you well.
You made me laugh many, many times and I am going to miss that (and you).
kudos and best wishes ^_^
im sorry to see you go.i understand why you are doing it though.i think similar reasons have stopped me from starting a blog.i think you are so great and i wish you good luck.
Likewise, we will miss you. You need to do what is right for you. Take care!
P.S. That is just another reason on my ever growing list why Facebook and I will never have a relationship. Creepers.
I’m so sad that you are going, but I totally understand. The world of social media (all fifty thousand forms) are taxing especially when it comes to the jerks that are out there. I also understand how life changes. My books are about all my wild and reckless adventures. Those were my teens and twenties. Here in my thirties I have settled quite a bit.
Good luck, Jen!
I’m sorry to hear that this sort of thing happened to you. I’m happy that you are happy though, and able to move on. I gladly call you my friend now, and forever…or as long as you allow me to. I’ll be out that way again sometime, we’ll keep in touch I hope. God bless and take care.
The the thing that always drew me to you was not the antics or hilarious stories, but your incredible self awareness. And I think it’s fitting that you’re closing your blog in the same fashion. I will miss your voice, lady, but I know I’ll hear it again some other time, in some other fashion.
I was sad to see you break up with Facebook, and I’m sad to hear this too, but I wish you the best on your journey. As many have said, you have so much talent, and I’m sure you’ll be pouring that into other endeavors. Meeting you was definitely one of the highlights of blogging for me! Good luck, Jen!
Well, crap! I was just getting to know you. I’m sure you’ll do well in life.
It’s sad that the good people have be hurt by the actions of bad people. I’m sorry Sweet Jen. I wish you the best. xoxo
I hate to see this but I completely understand. 2014 for me seems to be similar to yours in that people aren’t what they seem and the only things that matter are numbers and saying whatever it takes to gain misplaced sympathy.
Peace be with you my friend, hopefully if you ever need anything you will remember I am around.
I am sorry to see you go, Jen! I have gone through blogging stages this last year where go for weeks without reading a post, nevermind wiring something. But I’ve always looked out for a post from you. All the best!
Well damn… Looks like we’ve lost another good one. 😦
Who is going to tell us stories about flashing strangers in the woods – or from their window – digging in the trash or farting in front of strangers?
You have made me, and countless others, laugh and sometimes cry (usually from laughter).
While you will be missed, it’s not worth reopening wounds or having to deal with crazies.
It sounds like you are on a good path Jen in life and I wish you all the best.
P.S. Email me if you do any crazy stuff!!
Best wishes to you, Jen! Inspiration and love.
This ensaddens me greatly. But you know I love you to pieces anyway. And it’s all because of WP that I had the great fortune to meet you, and the even greater fortune to become your friend.
And you should be honored, this is the first blog comment I’ve written in I don’t know how long.
It’s hard to “like” the potential demise of your blog so let’s leave it as I like this post, and you, even more, a whole lot. Best of luck with all of your future endeavors and please don’t give up on writing completely. You’re a true talent. xoxo
I have found it to be the opposite. I find it hard to avoid the few nasty people in my life, but can unfollow and delete comments. I have stayed away from controversial subjects since I started blogging on Open Salon where “flame wars” and bullying were a weekly occurrence. After blogging on WordPress for three years, I’ve run into a few crazy people, but they have one thing in common. They seek attention. If I don’t give it to them, they give up.
Believe me there have been times when I’ve had my buttons pushed and wanted to engage in the comments, but I flipped my laptop shut and walked away. Later, I thanked them for weighing in.
Sorry to see you go, but I appreciate your need to eliminate things from your life that no longer serve you. I hope you find another outlet for your creative mind, you are a great writer and should keep doing it. Hopefully I will stumble across your path again…take care!
Well Good Luck Jen. Heal peacefully!