The Feminine Touch

25 Nov

NaNoWriNO Day 25

Topic: Boxers- Men wearing them vs. Women wearing them

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When I first picked this topic, I decided to list the pros and cons of women and men wearing boxer shorts. Here’s what I came up with:

Men Pro: Airs out that general vicinity so penis doesn’t grow mold
Men Con: Sometimes penis pokes out of the flap, and unintentionally waves hello to you

Women Pro: Boxers finally get to see a vagina

Women Con: Leave terrible visible panty lines

Side by side comparison because it’s very scientific

That was it. Major suckage in the description department. After 24 days of writing posts, I was kind of ready to just dial it in, but I didn’t want to do that to you guys. So I gave it a bit more consideration.

The more I thought about women wearing boxers, the more I realized women steal men’s fashions. We’re not happy with the 1,585, 732 clothing lines dedicated to selling us stuff, we’ve got to go and takeover menswear too. We’re such clothes horses.

Neckties:

Halle Berry obviously got her “I’m seeking a raise” moves from me

Dress shirts:

That’s me on the right

Suits:

True story: I have a major crush on Jennifer Aniston

We’re sexy creatures, aren’t we? I can see why we’ve ripped off men. We can totally get away with it. What if men dared attempt the same thing?

Skirts:

That guy actually has better legs than I do

Corsets:

He’s filling something out, but it isn’t the corset

Bras:

Thumbs up for teaching his nipple how to drink a beer!

My recommendation is that all you men just go naked from now on. Please send photo evidence to me at BolognaPony@ISeePenis.com.

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Thanks to the cray cray Christopher De Voss for suggesting this topic.

NaNoWriNO Day 24

NaNoWriNO Day 26

56 Responses to “The Feminine Touch”

  1. Lyssapants 11/27/2012 at 3:09 pm #

    Oh no, men put on more clothes, not less.
    MORE, I SAY!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:04 pm #

      Lyssa has spoken. Cover up your Justin Timbersnake, fellas.

  2. UndercoverL 11/26/2012 at 1:51 pm #

    I just want to say that “bologna” and “pony” don’t rhyme in my head because I don’t think “baloney” when I see “bologna,” I see “bol-og-na.” What a stupid word. Who the hell invented that? I also want to say that my husband (who weighs twice what I do and is 8 inches taller) once put on my pajamas. I would turn back time just to have a camera when I saw him. Funniest thing. Ever. I will try to get a replay.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:04 pm #

      How about Balogna Pogna?

      Oh man. You could have blackmailed your husband for LIFE.

      • UndercoverL 11/28/2012 at 1:37 pm #

        I will get him drunk tonight and see if I can get him to put them on again. I can make him incognito, too. I’ll blue-out his eyes.

  3. becca3416 11/26/2012 at 9:42 am #

    HEY, there is NOTHING wrong with wearing men’s clothes… especially their undies.

  4. workspousestory 11/26/2012 at 7:27 am #

    Hehehe. But I love boxers, and on both sexes 😉

    And I can totally pull off the male look. My favourite is a tie, waistcoat and elegant trousers; guys usually can’t stop staring… hmm… now I’m starting to wonder if that’s for the right reasons!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:03 pm #

      They’re probably imagining you wearing THEIR trousers after a night of sweaty boom boom.

  5. jiltaroo 11/26/2012 at 5:35 am #

    You are brilliant woman…you made a silk purse out of a sow’s ear! So funny.

  6. acflory 11/26/2012 at 1:30 am #

    Brilliant! My personal favourite? The guy in the skirt and high heels… so chic. 😉

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:02 pm #

      Seriously, I love how confident he is. “Yeah bitch, take this picture.”

      • acflory 11/28/2012 at 1:35 pm #

        -giggles- You know what my first thought was when I saw him? I thought of those circus acts pretending to be hermaphrodites with one half looking like a male and the other half looking like a female, although they usually do it with a vertical split. I guess those shapely legs probably had something to do with it. 😀

        • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:45 pm #

          YES!!!!! You’re so right!!

          • acflory 11/28/2012 at 7:47 pm #

            😀 Great minds snark together!

  7. Madame Weebles 11/25/2012 at 6:01 pm #

    Jennifer Aniston never did it for me. I find her kind of eh. The guy in your side-by-side scientific boxer comparison, on the other hand, is a different story. Makes me want to saddle up and ride that bologna pony, if you know what I mean.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:02 pm #

      Lookswise she has never done it for me either (although she obviously takes care of herself) but I always find her to be charming in interviews. I also find myself to be charming, so take that for what you will.

  8. nicoleep 11/25/2012 at 5:12 pm #

    I have always thought Jennifer Aniston to be such a naturally beautiful woman, so I applaud your girl crush! Also, I don’t think I like men who wear boxers…or corsets.. or bras for that matter…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:01 pm #

      I like it when men don’t wear underwear, and also wear short shorts so that it just pokes out a little. Just another way of waving hi.

  9. benzeknees 11/25/2012 at 3:00 pm #

    No post here, maybe you need to check into this? Wouldn’t want your readers disappointed!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 1:00 pm #

      I screwed the pooch on this one. Long story, but changing the date on the post (I accidentally hit publish instead of draft) caused a problem. I suck.

  10. DUH'Merica 11/25/2012 at 2:09 pm #

    Women generally can look hot wearing just about any men’s clothes, except for maybe a jock-strap. Personally, I don’t think men should ever be seen naked, too much shit flopping around, it just looks odd.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:59 pm #

      it does look a bit like a snake that got out of its cage.

  11. Adrienne schmadrienne 11/25/2012 at 1:53 pm #

    That’s awesome! And better reasoning to say we are the finer of the sexes. We can cross dress til the day is long and look ridiculously sexy. Poor dudes.

  12. GiggsMcGill Jill 11/25/2012 at 12:56 pm #

    I think women take over men’s clothes because who really wants 1,585,732 choices? Men usually only have 1, or maybe 2. So much easier!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:57 pm #

      You know what? You’re right? I’m suddenly very resentful of our choices.

  13. Daan van den Bergh 11/25/2012 at 12:26 pm #

    Crossdressing is one thing, dressing up your puppy or cat is another… I think people have too much access to clothes…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:57 pm #

      Someone in my neighborhood has a cat that wears different little skirts every day.

  14. The Bumble Files 11/25/2012 at 11:52 am #

    Ha ha. Women are hot, aren’t they? Good job on your posting. Yay! I’m proud of you.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:56 pm #

      Women are hot. Even though I have a hump on my back and facial hair, I’m still desirable to someone somewhere.

  15. artsifrtsy 11/25/2012 at 11:32 am #

    That guy in the skirt has better legs than me too – plus he can walk in those heels!

  16. Dani Heart 11/25/2012 at 10:23 am #

    wow. LOL I have liked guys in corsets ever since Rocky Horror. LOL Fun post.

    • Sandee 11/25/2012 at 11:37 am #

      Oh my — a woman after my own heart! I love Tim Curry in a corset!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:55 pm #

      Let’s do the time warp again!

  17. Sandee 11/25/2012 at 7:50 am #

    I’m such a weirdo — that guy in the corset’s getting me horny.

  18. inukshuk 11/25/2012 at 7:28 am #

    There’s definitely something terribly unfair about this whole fashion thing : not only do you women have a gazillion different style ideas to choose from, compared to men (“should I wear pants today ? Well, yes. Should I wear a shirt today ? Oh, maybe I’ll go topless this time, just for a change.”), but you rock men’s clothing way better than we do, as well !

    Well, all of us except maybe Mr. Dress Shirt, there.

    Oh, and I’m pretty sure if more women used the Halle Berry negotiating technique, that would be the end of salary inequalities. At least for women who look like her…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:55 pm #

      Yeah, I don’t think I could get away with the Halle Berry thing. My employer would be like, “WHAT IN GOD’S NAME? PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.”

  19. Christopher De Voss 11/25/2012 at 6:08 am #

    Just sent you my naked picture, better wear sunglasses before viewing… I’m really white.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:54 pm #

      I loved it. I’m still blinking and seeing dots, but I loved it.

  20. speaker7 11/25/2012 at 5:12 am #

    I’m now depressed that the guy wearing the bra has bigger bazongas than me.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/28/2012 at 12:54 pm #

      It’s not the size that matters! Unless you’re a guy, then it totally matters.

  21. Bill Friday 11/25/2012 at 1:24 am #

    First off…

    How the hell did you get that URL before I did?!?!?!

    Second off…

    I gave up boxers right about the time I hit high school. That damn uncontrolled (uncontrollable) flap made it impossible for me to properly shake hands with anyone. As far as the rest of the fashionably unisex items displayed above, I vote that readers see you in all of them. Maybe make that your final NaNoWriNo of the month.

    Well, all of the items except that corset on the left. Or the bra on the left for that matter. Those dudes have ruined me for any others.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/25/2012 at 1:44 am #

      HEY! You registered EatThisFloorHamburger@DavidHasselhoff.com before I could. No whining.

      Sorry to hear that your baby arm came out and shook hands with everyone before you could. Must have made job interviews awkward.

      Oh, and NOBODY wants to see me in any of those things. Unless they like barfing.

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