My birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I’ll be waving goodbye to 31, and saying hello to 32. I’m not one of those people who dreads her birthday; in fact, I’ve enjoyed getting older. There’s a certain confidence and wisdom I’ve gotten after experiencing a few things, and settling down a bit.
There’s no denying that you can run from aging, but you certainly can’t hide from it. I think I’m still pretty young at heart, but I’ve definitely noticed that some things have changed over the last 10 years.
Dating
21: Want a guy who is in a band
31: Want a guy who won’t ruin my credit score
Breasts
21: Above my waist
31: Saying hello to my belt buckle
Finances
21: Pay $120 for jeans because YOLO
31: See a $5 fee on my cable bill and call to have it removed because I won’t let those Commie bastards take my money
Partying
21: Leave around 10 so as not to get to the bar too early
31: Make sure I’m home around 10 so I can watch Matlock reruns before bed
Drinking
21: DRINK ALL THE LIQUORS
31: Have to stay away from tequila because of something stupid I did right after I turned 21
Sleep
21: I’ll sleep when I’m dead
31: I need more sleep because I feel like death
Facial hair
21: Wax/shave/pluck religiously
31: You win, chin hairs
Music
21: All my favorite songs are played on Top 40 stations
31: All my favorite songs are played on Easy Listening stations
I want to know: have you noticed your age catching up to you?
Sips of Jen and Tonic 
I don’t feel old until ladies at the bar try to set me up with their sons expressing their concern that, “you might not be able to have babies if you wait too long! What if your womb shrivels up before you have my grandchildren?!” (*Actual conversation with a patroness at my bar last night. Ooph…)
I am guilty of being old as fuck. I’m so old my kids are complaining about getting old. I love your blog. Definitely following. Two out of three posts provoke me to laugh out loud. Awesome.
I had to see what this post was all about.
Totally reminded me of conversations with my wife, on this subject. She’s five years older than I am.
Body parts: I have no idea what young Cimmy thought. But mention of “droopy boobies” now, gets me a dirty look from. Young me wanted a 6-pack. Middle-aged me just wants his pants not to fall down, and hates acid reflux.
We did night life once upon a time. That quickly ended with children.
Drinking: religious dietary law, but stubborn, traumatized younger me tried to get lost in booze. Wound up swearing solemn oath to wifey to never drink again because me + alcohol = scary bad times.
Facial hair: young me= grow a beard, so I don’t look like a boy. Current me= grow a beard, so I don’t look like a boy, notice beard has silver hairs. (Mother-in-law, daughter, and Cimmy all notice current me has silver hairs on head.) Current me asks Cimmy to pluck hairs off ears.
Young(ish) Cimmy: thought removal of upper lip hair was stupid (friends thought it would improve her dating chances). Middle-aged Cimmy: might allow jak to pluck chin hairs, but that’s it. Cimmy’s mom: has not cared for years and has visible goat hairs. I think we don’t much care either.
“Cimmy’s mom: has not cared for years and has visible goat hairs.” I just laughed out loud.
My mother-in-law is a wonderful woman. She keeps wanting me to call her “Mom”, but I have more respect for her than that (yeah, I have mother issues). I love her dearly, goat hairs and all.
Oh my goodness, I can definitely relate on most points (no chin hair here). Nevertheless, yes, things are much different now in my early 30’s as opposed to my early 20’s. I too just turned 32. Happy Birthday!
Hey! Happy belated birthday! I am envious that the chin hairs haven’t waged war against you. I’d give anything not to look like Wolverine in the sunlight.
Wait! What? Mattock? You serious?
I don’t fuck around when it comes to Matlock.
Wow. My dad would so enjoy your company. He’s a diehard fan!
Tell pops I winked at him and say, “Wassup!”
I laughed all the way through this piece it was so funny, and so relatable. I don’t think my 21 year old self would hang out with my sorry 43 year old ass. But that’s where kids come in and can be especially helpful. Now I feel totally in touch with what’s going on vicariously through them. They keep me young. Eventually I’ll buy another Harley and start smoking again, but until then I’ll be hanging with the kids and trying to figure out what the fox says…
The fox says, “Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!” At least that’s what my youngest sister told me…
wow, im doing all the 31 things but the sad part is i am only 23 years old..
It means you’re more well-adjusted than most of us were at your age. You just keep being you.
hahahahaha
I love it!
I can identify with the going out part.
There’s no way and no power on earth that would make me go out after 9pm.
By 11 I’m already freaking out because I gotta go to bed and watch my Golden Girls.
GOLDEN GIRLS! You’ve said my magic words.
Hehehe!
I just crossed 41 and yes to almost all except one…sometimes it’s beneficial to be small chested 😛
Happy Birthday to you!! 😀
You hold on to those perky boobies! They’re a gift!
I have never grinned + laughed at a comment as much as this one..LOL
Yes ma’am..I shall protect and hold on to these little babies as long as I can..
Hahahahaha
Be thankful there is a plus to having small breasts. As far as I can tell there is nothing good about having a small penis.
I notice age the most in my relationships. My husband is six years younger than me and sometimes it’s so, so obvious. I also notice my age when I hang out with my friends in their mid-twenties. We do not think alike, have the same values, or treat friendships the same way. I find myself saying, “well, she’s so young” as a way to excuse their behavior. I’ve recently resolved to find some older friends!
Overall being older is better, despite the fact that I shave my chin every morning.
I realize now that I sound as if I’m at odds with my twenty-something friends or twenty-somethings in general. Didn’t mean it that way! Just meant that I notice that I was raised in a completely different age or generation when I hang out with them.
I think the difference between 40 and 45 is not as obvious as 25 and 30. At certain stages in our lives those few years can make a huge difference so it’s not surprising you see yourself feeling a bit disconnected. I see that too in the blogging world. I’ll read something and think, “Oh man, I remember those times” rather than thinking, “I can relate!”
haha! I love your post! particularly now that I am also fast approaching the 3…2….
Any advice on things to come?
Get ready to get MORE AWESOME.
I’m 29. I’ll sleep when I’m dead! And I’ve always been an easy-listening, eww-bars-suck-because-they-make-you-wear-pants, Matlock-watching, cable-bill-complaining person, so at least that adjustment will come easy. It’s nice watching my friends join me in my pursuits as we all age. I even knit, and darn my own clothes, and all sorts of other stuff that makes me sound 90 to people.
But the chin hairs– gah, what is up with that? We send people to the moon and we can’t figure out how to cheaply permanently remove this stuff? La!
Why technology hasn’t caught up to the chin hair thing, I don’t know. Also, HOW DO YOU FIND TIME TO DO ANYTHING? I swear, you’re some bionic woman.
Firstly happy birthday! And yeah I have noticed a lot of changes, both from childbirth and age. I have this one deep, annoying wrinkle that I can’t shift. It needs botox and fillers. Then instead of laughing uproariously at your posts I will say “Oh that’s funny” as my face remains wrinkle free and frozen as fuck. As for the facial hair, I hear you sister and laser is your new best friend. Medical grade laser, not the dodgy do it yourself kind. It really is a miracle thing.
Don’t you DARE lose that wrinkle! I think smile lines are sexy on people. Shows they have a bit of character.
Oh really? I hate mine. Photoshop is my friend