Yesterday I played “5 Truths and a Lie” to test you, my readers, on your knowledge of the real Jen. As a recap, your options were:
- I’m an emergency preparedness nut
- I know a martial arts technique which focuses on pressure points
- I placed in a state free throw competition
- I worked at a collection agency
- I was dropped on my head as a kid
- I have ear problems that cause church bells to go off in them every once in awhile
I was pleasantly surprised to see that the majority of you guessed correctly. I am not, in fact, a martial arts badass who could take you out with the touch of a finger. A girl can dream.
I suppose the plethora of correct answers means that you are learning more about me from reading this blog. This shows how far I’ve come.
When I first began Sips of Jen and Tonic, I only wanted to post humor here. I like writers who have strong writing voices, and whose work is consistent. I recently told Le Clown that my goal has always been to write one way so well that you could identify my work even if my name wasn’t attached to it.
I think I’ve always focused on humor because it’s safe. You tell a story, you make people laugh, you bond with your readers. You’re able to make a connection from behind the safety of your own walls.
The first serious post I ever wrote for this blog was titled “Tears of a Clown” which was actually written during last year’s NaBloPoMo. It was the first time I openly discussed my struggle with anxiety and depression.
I almost didn’t post it.
I mean, it was exactly how I was feeling at the time. I believe in living authentically, and being completely honest about the crappiest parts of yourself is as authentic as a person can get.
So I posted it.
But I was terrified. It wasn’t so much that I thought readers would judge me; most of the people who frequented my blog wrote about their own struggles on their individuals blogs, or blogs like Black Box Warnings. I was afraid people would be disappointed.
“I came here for the LOLs and she’s talking about her sadsie life?”
“Did I miss the punchline?”
I love making people laugh, and I enjoy writing in a way that brings a little bit of fun to someone’s day. I’m a free spirit, and I think life is meant to be lived out loud. I enjoy watching terrible reality television shows, and I have a potty mouth.
I am also a person who likes reading educational texts, and appreciates a good documentary. I love discussing philosophical theories, and Scrabble is my favorite game. I like to spend a lot of quiet time alone, and prefer going to bed early than to partying.
I am definitely two sides to the same coin.
It’s why I’ve always hesitated to post more serious or reflective material here. It’s not that I haven’t had the ideas or motivation; rather, I assumed people only wanted to read about one side of the coin. I had become embarrassed of the other side of me.
This blog is beginning to be a true reflection of who I really am. Sometimes there are laughs, sometimes there are tears, and sometimes there are meaningful conversations. For the first time since I started writing 7 years ago, my readers are finding out the truth about Jen.