American Nightmare

14 Nov

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find someone to share it with.”

That’s what a loan officer told me after I had informed her that, yes, I would be attempting to buy a home by myself. There was pity in her voice, and if it wasn’t for the sake of professionalism, she probably would have said, “Whoa. You’re buying a home alone? SPINSTER ALERT!”

forever alone, single, spinster

Me, apparently

I’ve wanted to own a home as long as I can remember. Some people dream of getting married, of having children, of becoming a doctor. I longed to have a permanent address.

I loved what it symbolizes: stability, family, love, comfort, success. I imagined having a guest bedroom for visiting friends and family, and a fenced yard for a dog to run around in. And while there wouldn’t be the pitter-patter of little feet, I would have a partner alongside me.

My dream has taken a slight detour. My American dream has become an American nightmare.

30 was kind of a rough year for me. I struggled with some health issues, my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, and the place I worked for was bought out, and quickly went down the toilet.

Suddenly I saw everything I had worked really hard for slipping away. Goodbye income. Goodbye partner. Goodbye sanity. Goodbye American dream.

Not to get all Langston Hughes, but what does happen to a dream deferred?

I thought a lot about how I had gotten to that point. I must have taken a hard left somewhere in life to be 30, alone, and possibly jobless in the near future.

As I went through my rolodex of memories, I realized that not having anyone there with me has never stopped me before.

I’ve moved to different states by myself. I’ve taken vacations by myself. I’ve signed for apartments by myself. I’ve gone hiking by myself. I’ve gone to dinner by myself. I’ve gone to the movies by myself.

selfie, hiking, stevie ray vaughan, travel

My entire adulthood has been spent doing the things I want, regardless of whether someone else was along for the ride.

My dream didn’t get deferred, it simply changed.

So yes, I will be buying that house by myself. It won’t be as big, and I won’t have someone to argue about paint colors with. It may not have a fenced yard, but my friends and family will still be welcome. And while it may no longer be the American dream, it will be my American nightmare.

•••

Big thanks to RollerGiraffe for listening to me whine about this, and inspiring me to write this post

111 Responses to “American Nightmare”

  1. donofalltrades 11/14/2013 at 8:06 am #

    I bought my house before I was married and used to do all of those things you talk about. Some people can’t function if they have to do something alone, like my boss, he can’t go to lunch alone and it makes me nuts. I love my family more than I love anything, but I do sometimes miss the days when I could sit on the couch in my underpants drinking beers and tossing french fries across the room to the dog. Enjoy it! You may not think so, but you’re still young and will find whatever it is you’re looking for, probably when you’re not really looking for it. Whatever the fuck that means.

    • Maggie O'C 11/14/2013 at 9:14 am #

      So you don’t do that anymore? Or wait, you throw the french fries to G$, right?

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:18 pm #

      You know, I hadn’t really considered the fact that some married people may miss their space. I guess that’s the way it goes, right? Single people sometimes yearn for a relationship, and coupled people yearn for their single days. It all evens out in the end I suppose.

  2. Calamity Rae 11/14/2013 at 8:13 am #

    There is something to be said about the feeling of *permanence* – with regards to buying a home. I think it’s why I love my home so much, as well. It’s a safety thing. A comfort thing. And I may have had to get a little snarky with the loan officer and said something like ” don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll never get divorced and be left with a mortgage you can’t afford by yourself leaving you in the most embarrassing situation as your neighbors point out in secret that haven’t cut the grass in months (because the mower is broken) and your roof is peeling off *coughbitchcough*. Yeah, no, that was a bitchy and very presumptuous thing of her to say.

    • Calamity Rae 11/14/2013 at 8:16 am #

      and you know…more to that point…so what?…maybe you want to live a life of solitude, what’s it TO HER. This is why I stay in my home and not leave, because I can not deal with people and their fucking boxes. Sorry for the rant!!!!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:21 pm #

      We’re totally on the same page. There is something about having that address that is all your own that makes you feel so settled, and comforted.

      I think the loan officer was trying to be nice, but it was an inappropriate thing to say.

  3. omtatjuan 11/14/2013 at 8:18 am #

    I love your words…!

  4. Polysyllabic Profundities 11/14/2013 at 8:21 am #

    Good for you!! I bought a house on my own as well and although it needs some work I still get to call it my own. I had been out of my house for the last 12 days after a wind storm and I can’t even tell you how much I missed being home. Enjoy your journey!!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:23 pm #

      Thanks! I’m happy to hear from someone who bought their home on their own, and consider it a good experience. I figured it would be, but it’s nice to have that reinforcement.

  5. Carrie Rubin 11/14/2013 at 8:29 am #

    I may be echoing DOAT’s comment, but remember that there are many married people who envy your freedom. Look at it that way, and you can throw it in the face of those of us tied down. Add to that the freedom of NOT having to deal with house issues, and you’ve scored another point. It’s all about the spin, really. But whatever you choose to do, I wish you well. And if you want to buy a house on your own–go for it! My niece just bought her own place all on her lonesome. I’m so impressed and awed by her. (Plus she’s a cop–how cool is that?)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:24 pm #

      Your niece sounds badass! I think the wonderful thing for women nowadays is that we do have so much more freedom to chase our dreams on our own. The downside is that there are some minds that haven’t quite caught up with that, and then they say stuff that ends up on my blog.

      • Carrie Rubin 11/16/2013 at 1:52 pm #

        Well, ignorant minds are always good for blog fodder…

  6. michellestodden 11/14/2013 at 8:31 am #

    GO JEN! Ugh. Her comment rubs me the wrong way. Must we all want exactly the same thing? How boring of a world would that be? My dream is a small craftsman/bungalow with a backyard where Maya and a dog can run around and a big tree longing for a treehouse and a tire swing. If there’s a partner by my side when I arrive at my dream, cool. If not, I’ll be just as happy.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:25 pm #

      I also want a craftsman bungalow with a yard. They’re out of my price range here in Portland, but I’m still holding on that someday I’ll own one. Hope you get yours one day.

  7. She's a Maineiac 11/14/2013 at 8:32 am #

    You go, girlfriend. I moved out to Seattle to go to college all by myself, didn’t know a single soul out there. I lived alone for most of my 20s. I had no problem eating alone, going to movies by myself etc. I look back and realize I was really content to be alone, it was adventurous and I had a certain kind of freedom. I was 28 before I met my husband and never imagined myself with kids or a home, yet here I am. You just got to go with it and enjoy the hell out of life no matter what. Good luck with your new home.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:27 pm #

      I also moved to Seattle to go to college by myself!

      I do love that I live my life for me right now. If I want to go for a hike, see a movie, take a vacation, sleep in until noon, I can. When you’re in a relationship you do need to consider the other person in the things you do. Kids just add a completely different element.

  8. Vanessa-Jane Chapman 11/14/2013 at 8:35 am #

    Hurrah! Enjoy the house, and the freedom to make whatever choices you like without having to defer to anyone else’s opinion! When you say your friends and family will be welcome, I assume that encompasses your wide group of blogging friends and family, old and new, near and far, right? So let us know when the housewarming party is and I’ll bring Sloe Gin, and Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:27 pm #

      You are welcome anytime, VJ. You bring the gin and coffee beans, and I’ll bring the music and sexy party dance moves.

  9. Robbie 11/14/2013 at 8:39 am #

    Independence is a wonderful thing. Looking forward to your virtual house warming party.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:28 pm #

      I’ll set up my computer, and you guys can watch me get too drunk and do bad celebrity impressions. Just like a real party!

  10. Brother Jon 11/14/2013 at 8:45 am #

    As they say from around my parts, Git-R-Done!

  11. daniheart21 11/14/2013 at 8:48 am #

    Jen you never stop amazing me. Trust me when I tell you that being alone is better than being with someone who isn’t the right person, or staying in a relationship where the love has gone out. I am blissful now but that has happened to me before. Whatever will be will be and I admire you for rolling with it and not letting anything kill your dream. xo

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:29 pm #

      You are so right! Being alone IS better than being with the wrong person. I’m just going to keep moving forward, and someone wants to board the train to Crazy Town with me someday, so be it.

  12. ZakcHead 11/14/2013 at 8:54 am #

    If you want to hear something about dreams, take a look at what I just posted.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:30 pm #

      ZAK! You’re here!

      • ZakcHead 11/18/2013 at 3:48 am #

        Yes ! (Sorry still figuring out WordPress) thought I would check out your blog !!

  13. NotAPunkRocker 11/14/2013 at 9:10 am #

    Good for following your dream! I am the opposite, in that I don’t want that feeling of permanence yet because I don’t want to stay where I am and don’t know where I want to be yet.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:32 pm #

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to wander. I think it’s cool when people just sort of drift from thing to thing in life, always seeking the new. I am too anxious and neurotic for that.

  14. Maggie O'C 11/14/2013 at 9:16 am #

    This is fabulous. Life never turns out looking the way you think it will, if you’re lucky it turns out better that you thought. Let me know if you want a househunting partner. I love looking for houses!!!

    Dream on! (oooo there should be song called that)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:33 pm #

      I feel the same way about looking for houses or apartments! I have been known to frequent open houses just so I can see the insides of them.

  15. Madame Weebles 11/14/2013 at 9:18 am #

    Owning a home by yourself is regarded as almost as peculiar as going to a restaurant by yourself. “Table for one?? Yes, right this way, you poor dear. We’ll put you at a table here by the kitchen so nobody will notice that you have nobody to eat with.”

    I never had a burning desire to own a house. I was always happy to rent. I liked the option to be able to move at a moment’s notice. Of course, I rented the same apartment for 15 years, so apparently I don’t really have much wanderlust.

    But right on. You’re looking out for yourself and your own wants and best interests, and that’s awesomesauce.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:36 pm #

      I think there is a certain freedom coming with renting that you can’t have with owning a home. What if your neighbor sucks? What if the neighborhood goes downhill? These are not easy to fix if you own something. Add to the fact that you don’t have to worry about major fixes, and I can see why renting is so attractive.

      I went to a restaurant not long ago, and the waitress said, “I can seat you in the bar area since you’re, you know, alone.” She was trying to spare me the horror of sitting at a table alone in the middle of a busy restaurant.

  16. drewann2 11/14/2013 at 9:48 am #

    Jen, I cannot believe you thought that woman was professional. The comment, in my opinion, is condescending and insulting! I’m sure I would have commented back, “I have my demons to share it with!” or something funny. As Calamity Rae said, “People and their fucking boxes!”

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:37 pm #

      Oh, I certainly didn’t think she was being professional, I meant that she probably would have been even more condescending had she not felt she had to show some decorum.

  17. elinwaldal 11/14/2013 at 9:49 am #

    Jen, I love this post. I am reminded of a short film that inspired me to write about the value in being comfortable with aloneness. I have a hunch it will resonate with you too: http://youtu.be/k7X7sZzSXYs

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 12:58 pm #

      Elin, thank you so much for sharing that video! I had never seen it before. I love that it celebrates being alone because it can be so amazing when you’re finally comfortable with yourself.

  18. Katie 11/14/2013 at 9:53 am #

    It’s so rare that I have an opportunity to bring my work into blogging, but that day has arrived. Let me tell you that bitchy loan officer kind of violated Regulation B (Equal Credit Opportunity Act). Marital status is one of the nine prohibited discrimination factors, and homegirl needs to mind her business.

    We’re in total agreement about homeownership–I feel the same way about having a permanent address. It’s interesting because my boyfriend dislikes the concept of home ownership for the same reason: its permanence. Did you grow up in a house? I’m curious if it has something to do with the fact I spent all the years I remember in a house, and he was mostly in a condo. When we idly look at places, he generally prefers condos.

    • Katie 11/14/2013 at 9:54 am #

      …By the way, if you have any questions about the new mortgage rules that go into effect January 2014, hit me up.

    • rachelocal 11/15/2013 at 10:22 am #

      Katie, I’m in HR and the first thing I thought when I read the beginning line was, “That loan officer must have violated at least two laws by saying that!” Thanks for confirming!

      As for you, Jen, good for you! I think you should still hold out for the fenced yard and the dog though. :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:00 pm #

      Something I didn’t mention in the post was that we weren’t in the middle of doing a transaction. I went to a seminar for first time home buyers, and she was there advising. That might actually be even worse come to think of it…

      My parents bought their house when I was about 5, and I lived there my entire life. It may be why I yearn for that same stability. Interesting that you feel the same way too!

  19. Rohan 7 Things 11/14/2013 at 10:01 am #

    Yay, a home owner! At least the loan officer didn’t throw in a few cats as well…

    Wishing you the best of luck and heres to 31 being a little more stable :)

    Rohan.

  20. rollergiraffe 11/14/2013 at 10:06 am #

    You know my thoughts on this, sister Tonic. A permanent address is not an unrealistic goal at all, and I continue to be impressed at your ability to figure out what you want. You’ll go very far in your life knowing that.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:02 pm #

      Thanks, J. I’ve always been a very independent spirit, searching for ways to prop myself up in life. I have my parents to thank for that.

  21. jeandayfriday 11/14/2013 at 10:15 am #

    You buy that house!!!! I love “My dream didn’t get deferred, it simply changed.” So, so true. I think dreams very much change. We should tell Langston Hughes this!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:14 pm #

      Dreams do change. What I wanted ten years ago is not what I want now. That’s the beauty of rolling with the punches. You get a dream you didn’t even know you wanted.

  22. rarasaur 11/14/2013 at 10:45 am #

    Oh, checkboxes about who we are were specifically designed to make us go crazy. I’m glad you’re going after your dreams, Jen– you’ll catch ‘em for sure!

  23. RFL 11/14/2013 at 11:30 am #

    Go Jen! If everyone deferred dreams until the picture looked just “right,” most would never be realized. Further, no one gets to decide what that picture should look like except for you. Buying a home on your own is an amazing accomplishment, and one that not many people can claim. And from experience, I can tell you, buying a house with a partner that isn’t right and then trying to untangle your joint credit later as it all falls apart is annoying. It was two years after my divorce before the note on our home was refinanced and off my credit report. Sigh…I’m proud of you.
    Also, as a former mortgage business person, the loan officer’s comments were inappropriate and unprofessional.

  24. Melanie 11/14/2013 at 11:55 am #

    Why would she assume you were worried about finding someone to share it with. Awfully presumptuous of her. Next time tell her you’ve got Samantha Hess (http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2013/11/professional_cuddler_samantha.html) on speed dial and you never have to lay in bed alone again.

  25. mollytopia 11/14/2013 at 12:02 pm #

    Hell yes lady – buy that house! LIfe is too short to wait for a boy (or girl), for anything. Good for you : )

  26. Exile on Pain Street 11/14/2013 at 12:07 pm #

    With all due respect to Mme. Weebs, renting is like setting money on fire. I should know. I did it for 20+ years. You’re doing the right thing. Get yourself some equity.

    I spent years and years alone and never had a problem with it. Sometimes, I miss my autonomy.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:19 pm #

      I think it depends on where you live. Coming from Silicon Valley, buying is a joke that property owners are playing on people who live there. 800k for a tiny condo? Uh, no thanks.

  27. thestoryofrei 11/14/2013 at 12:48 pm #

    Oh my has the last year or so ever been similar for me. Health issues, break-up with long term boyfriend, etc. but I’m finally starting to live my life the way you describe “My entire adulthood has been spent doing the things I want, regardless of whether someone else was along for the ride.” So I’m pretty darned happy. :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:19 pm #

      Good for you! Funny how life kicks you in the balls, and then turns around and makes up for it by showing you that picking yourself can give yourself something better than you expected.

  28. mari 11/14/2013 at 12:55 pm #

    An absolute lien on your heart, but all worth it!

  29. bloggerau 11/14/2013 at 1:32 pm #

    I absolutely love this!!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:26 pm #

      Thanks, girl! Had a chance to go through some of your posts today. Great stuff. Glad to have met you here :)

  30. biancacmarais 11/14/2013 at 2:23 pm #

    Loved this post – going to send it to a few friends who still think that they need to wait to meet a man before their lives can begin instead of living now!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:27 pm #

      There’s no better time to start being happy than right now. Sometimes it’s easier when you’re totally alone.

  31. mytwistedroad 11/14/2013 at 3:32 pm #

    I think it’s great that you are in a position to buy a house. :-)

    Just one recommendation. Avoid making any sudden changes to your financial status. This includes transfers and deposits. You’ll have to have accountability for all money.

    Good luck in achieving your American Nightmare! It’s going to be awesome!

    • mytwistedroad 11/14/2013 at 3:33 pm #

      Ohhh, and that lady … well, she obviously would have never had the balls to buy a house on her own.

      • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:29 pm #

        Not to be presumptuous about her, but she had a HUGE rock on her finger. I’m guessing her husband helped buy her their house, and that’s great for her. I tend to be a little rogue.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:28 pm #

      I am pretty boring when it comes to spending. I have the same amount going to the same accounts, and really only charge my bills. I’m like a 65 year old in a 31 year old’s body.

  32. Elyse 11/14/2013 at 4:02 pm #

    Everybody’s dreams are different and everybody’s change. And no matter if you’re married or single, you want the other one.

    And it’s waaaaay past time to retire the “spinster” label. There is a world of difference between un married women of yore and today’s. Experience and freedom.

    You go Girl!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:29 pm #

      Agreed! Spinster is such an ugly word. I prefer the term “permanently unattached”.

      • Elyse 11/16/2013 at 1:44 pm #

        How about dimly “independent.”

  33. georgia + darlin' 11/14/2013 at 4:15 pm #

    good for you! though, not at all a nightmare (though, i very well know the feeling of frustration). you are doing what you want/when you want and not allowing anyone or anything to stop you. sounds like a dream to me! someone is bound to come along for that ride, for sure.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:32 pm #

      Reminds me of this quote I love: “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson”

      I’m always blazing my own trail, regardless of what other people say.

  34. antidotetopain76 11/14/2013 at 5:08 pm #

    Reblogged this on antidotetopain76.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:32 pm #

      Thanks for the reblog!

      • antidotetopain76 11/18/2013 at 5:46 pm #

        I loved the blog, anytime :-)

  35. bang76 11/14/2013 at 5:44 pm #

    I love this post!!! I’ve always wanted to own a house but sometimes circumstances changed and I question myself if I’m really ready for things to change in my life. Really Nice!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:33 pm #

      Are we ever really ready for anything? Marriage? Parenthood? Moving? Home ownership? They’re all big responsibilities, and none of us can predict the future. Sometimes all you can do is use your best judgement, hold your breath, and leap.

  36. bang76 11/14/2013 at 5:45 pm #

    Reblogged this on Life in a Frame and commented:
    I do have dreams for myself too <3

  37. likeitiz 11/14/2013 at 10:26 pm #

    Hey! You go, girl! That loan officer needs more training on current trends and the new norms. Was she some old geezer from two generations ago? They don’t change. It’s their comfort zone. There are people out there who are single, married, co-habiting, dating only, straight, LGBT, SBC, CBC, etc. and, it’s all right!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:36 pm #

      She came across like a rich wife to me, but I can’t confirm that. Sometimes you can just tell. Which is good for her, but that’s not the path everyone wants to take.

  38. talesfromthemotherland 11/14/2013 at 10:45 pm #

    You go girl! So many women (too many!) own things through their husbands… only finding out later, that everything of monetary value is in their husband’s name, while they were busy raising the kids. I know cliché, but cliché for a reason. So you go! Buy that house, whatever size, and make it your own… and if you build it, the rest will all fall into place. Mazel!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:37 pm #

      This is a great point. Someone I know spent 30 years supporting her husband’s dreams, only to have him leave her for a woman younger than their daughter. He kicked her out, and now she works two retail jobs to support herself.

      • talesfromthemotherland 11/16/2013 at 1:45 pm #

        I’ve seen the scenario up close (not myself) and it is just so awful! I really encourage my own daughter to build her own credit, make her own life… buying a house is such a personal and exciting thing (I think). I am excited for you, Jen!

        • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:47 pm #

          Thanks! And good on you for fostering that independence in your daughter!

  39. The Guat 11/15/2013 at 1:08 am #

    HA! I love this … the last line rocks, “my American Nightmare.” I also loved the graphic you included, that cracked me up! Very cool I think we all experience some version of this nightmare some at 30, others at 35, and then there’s 40. But good for you for rolling with it, that’s how to do it.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:37 pm #

      There’s always some kind of nightmare looming, right? It’s all in how we look at it. Lemons into lemonade as they say.

  40. shreejacob 11/15/2013 at 2:49 am #

    Bravo!!! Sometimes watching movies and having dinner by yourself is awesome :)
    And it’s great that you see it as a change of a dream because dreams to change and that makes it all the better…well..most times :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:38 pm #

      Being alone can be amazing when you see that you’re amazing company.

  41. pépère the cat 11/15/2013 at 2:54 am #

    I know a few people (both men and women) buying houses on their own and in many ways I envy them. Owning property by yourself (particularly if it is paid for out of your own earned income) is a symbol of your independence, success and personal achievement. Nobody else gets to take credit for that. My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, but if we stay together long-term, we will probably be ready to live together before either of us are in a position to buy a property. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t still be an amazing feeling to buy a place, but I wouldn’t ever be able to say, “Look what I bought and paid for all by myself.” And if we don’t stay together, then I absolutely will buy somewhere by myself as soon as I can. My dad already owned a house when he met my mum, and for 30 years he’s been the family breadwinner so she’s never contributed to the mortgage as far as I’m aware. Three years ago my mum paid for an extension to the house out of her savings and the way she went on about it made me realise that not having contributed financially to the house must have made her feel very inadequate. Just to be clear, my dad has never said or done anything to make her feel this way – it’s clearly just something she was sensitive about. She went straight from being a child in her father’s house to a wife in her husband’s house, and never had any degree of financial independence. If you own your own property, it’s your house and your rules. And even if you eventually end up buying somewhere bigger with a partner, you know that if your relationship ever came to an end, you would be able to manage on your own, because you’ve done it before. I think that kind of knowledge makes people more confident in themselves, which in turn helps them to have healthier and more honest relationships.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:40 pm #

      I know a lot of wives who feel like they missed out on contributing financially to something. Even though they usually contribute in so many other ways, being able to tangibly contribute does bring a sense of pride.

      I do feel very proud that I’ve put myself in a position to be able to do this. I know that no matter what happens in my life, I can take care of myself. This doesn’t mean it’ll be smooth sailing, but that I can tackle life head on.

  42. joehoover 11/15/2013 at 7:51 am #

    Hope it goes smoothly, I’m buying my first flat right now at 37. The only downside is the lack of space you get for the money (in London anyway). Being single may actually be a benefit so you don’t drive each other crazy. At least mine comes with a small lock up shed in the car park which I could always slap a £200,000 price tag on and market it as a studio.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:41 pm #

      HA! Good for you for buying property, and in London no less! Is it as stressful there as it is here? Forms, fees, escrow…makes my head spin.

      • joehoover 11/19/2013 at 6:33 am #

        My brother is sorting most of it for me since he’s in that line of work. My mind is just left with picking out curtains

  43. Kylie 11/15/2013 at 1:43 pm #

    Congrats!! That is exciting. I hear you on the going to movies, dinner, etc., by yourself. I’ve done a lot of that too. Makes me think I should write about it. Really, I love houses and gardens and decorating so I’m vicariously excited about this!!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/16/2013 at 1:42 pm #

      You should absolutely write about it, especially because you’re a wife and mother! With so little extra time, I love that you sometimes spend it alone. I’m sure other women would love to read about that.

      • Kylie 11/16/2013 at 2:26 pm #

        I’m alone right now at the library after getting a pedicure alone, which was after reading blogs alone in bed all morning while the boys were all at a soccer game and my girl was at my mom’s. bliss.

  44. javaj240 11/16/2013 at 11:27 am #

    Do it!

  45. writerwendyreid 11/17/2013 at 10:49 pm #

    Great post Jen. I’m glad to see you are still hangin’ on. ;-) xo

    • Jen and Tonic 11/18/2013 at 1:31 pm #

      I’m always pluggin’ away.

      • writerwendyreid 11/18/2013 at 6:00 pm #

        Send me an email…if you ever wanna chat. We have a lot in common. I could always use another friend. :-)
        wendyreid1964@gmail.com

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