Vag of Dishonor

2 Nov

It’s no secret that I embarrass myself on a regular basis. I’ve farted in a trainer’s face, a woman once congratulated me on my diarrhea, and I even confessed to taking a dump in an empty Porta Potty. Needless to say, I spend the majority of my time and energy trying to see if a person can actually die of humiliation.

Something else that people know about me is that I love to hike. I love the smell of the mountain air. I love the view at the top. I love being one of those annoying people on Facebook who posts dozens of photos to prove that her ass hasn’t yet melded with her couch.

"America's Funniest Home Videos, fuck yeah."

“Come on Maury, hurry up. I need to know if he’s the father.”

I had been wanting to do one particular trail in the Columbia River Gorge, and finally managed to get out there a few weeks ago. Most hikes have bathrooms at their trail heads, but once you’re out there, you’re on your own.

This hike was listed as “easy” but I quickly learned it’s only easy if you’re Jillian Michaels on methamphetamines. I trudged my way up the 478 switchbacks, drinking a ton of water along the way. Eventually my bladder decided it was quittin’ time, and I had to find a place to pee.

This wasn’t easy to do because the trail is narrow, and there aren’t really any places to hide while you urinate all over Mother Nature. I was going to have to pick a spot and chance it.

There is a point in this particular trail where it takes a slight detour out to a view point. I decided this would be ideal because some people might bypass it and continue on, and even if they did walk out, I’d hear them and have a chance to collect myself.

I looked up and down the main trail, and didn’t see anyone coming. I quickly ran over to the end, steadied myself between a bushy area and the ledge, and pulled down my pants.

I left my heart in San Francisco, but I left my pee here

Actual scene of the crime

Midstream I heard someone coming. Based on the timing of the footsteps I knew the person was jogging towards me. Jogging, shit. I hadn’t accounted for that, and I knew there wasn’t enough time to pull up my pants and act naturally.

Any second the this person would round this corner, and there I’d be, pissing all over Oregon’s splendor. The only way to completely avoid the jogger was to back up and fall to my death.

I panicked…

I stood up…

He appeared a split second later…

My vagina was on full display.

Jogger's reaction to seeing my sausage wallet

Jogger’s reaction to seeing my sausage wallet

There was a moment when we both had to acknowledge that my labia was just chillin’ like a villain. He looked slightly confused. It could have been because I was naked from the waist down, or it could have been because I hadn’t shaved since Nixon was in office. He may have thought he somehow stumbled upon a centaur.

He was a merciful soul, and turned around and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. No awkward, “Hey, nice vagina!” or “Can you please move your Furby, you’re blocking the view.” He knew the right thing to do was to leave.

I waited awhile, and then made my way back down the trail. When I got to the bottom, park rangers had set up a small table with information on our state parks. As I walked by, one of the rangers asked me if I had seen anything interesting while I was on the trail. I simply replied, “No, but I know one guy who did.”

143 Responses to “Vag of Dishonor”

  1. CB 11/02/2013 at 6:08 am #

    That would be my luck, too. Furby cootch and all. :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:18 pm #

      You and I should probably never go hiking together.

      • CB 11/02/2013 at 1:58 pm #

        I think you’re right. That’s too bad, though.

  2. speaker7 11/02/2013 at 6:28 am #

    Oh my sweet christ…I am crying tears of laughter right now. I read this aloud to Mr. Speaker7 and he was laughing hysterically. I salute you and your vagina.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:20 pm #

      I’ve impressed the Speaker clan? It’s like, I could die today and have lived a totally full life.

  3. April C. 11/02/2013 at 6:50 am #

    I wonder what the guy responded with if the ranger asked him the same question. Does he now refer to that jogging trail as Mt. Furby? Does your vag smell mountain fresh? So many questions!!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:21 pm #

      Ranger: “See anything good up there sir?”

      Jogger: “Just a Furby.”

      Ranger: “Hmm, never heard of it. I’ll have to see if it’s native to Oregon.”

  4. rumpydog 11/02/2013 at 6:54 am #

    Uh oh!

  5. RFL 11/02/2013 at 6:56 am #

    Hahaha! Oh Jen, I’m crying at my new word for vagina, sausage wallet.
    I have the smallest bladder ever, so I have a lot of awkward peeing in nature/on the side of the road stories too. The last time Steve and I were down on 6th street, I drank too much beer. I went before we left, but trying to find a cab after 2 am takes forever…after about an hour walking and waiting for one, then getting turned away from public restrooms because it was after hours I had to duck into an alley or piss my pants like a toddler (emergency!!!), and Steve was trying to block for me. I had already dropped trou behind the dumpster, when some guys walked up. I heard him politely asking them to wait to cut through for just a second. He didn’t want to say why, but then finally said, umm…my wife had to pee really bad, can you please just wait until she gets her pants up?
    The rowdy group of *gay* men, said, Bitch please, do we look like we care about seeing your wife’s business?…and walked on through. I just waved to them with my butt hanging out and squatting like a hobo while they laughed and made fun of me.
    I consider it a win since it wasn’t a cop, and I didn’t get arrested for public urination.
    It doesn’t compare at all to your scenic point Furby story, but I thought it might make you feel better to share some of my own humiliation.
    Hilarious post!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:23 pm #

      The first time you use the phrase ‘sausage wallet’ your husband is going to wonder just exactly what happened at Blogger Interactive. I think we all may be a bad influence on you.

      Your story is terrible because those guys KNEW they were going to humiliate you, and you just had to suck it up and let them walk by. I loved that you were polite enough to wave even though your butthole was exposed. GREAT manners!

      • RFL 11/03/2013 at 5:13 am #

        You know how sometimes you post a long comment and wish you could edit it, or that you’d sent it in PM, or you just want un-tell the story of how you’re all class and peed behind a dumpster because it was early in the morning and you forgot how much traffic your friend Jen probably gets?
        Hearing you say polite enough to wave when your butthole was exposed kind of made all that commenter regret I was feeling worth it!

        • Jen and Tonic 11/06/2013 at 12:40 am #

          Oh, this is a place where people can spill their secrets without shame. Take a look around. Does this look like a place full of judgement? Besides, if anyone ever gives you a bad time, point them to my blog and say, “AT LEAST I’M NOT THAT.”

  6. jdanryan 11/02/2013 at 7:04 am #

    Sounds like you had the good fortune to run into a perfect gentleman.

    Or someone who’s about to blog up a storm about this from his perspective; you might want to set up a Google alert, just to be on the safe side…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:25 pm #

      Uh oh, I just saw “The Hills Are Alive With The Sounds of Vagina” in my post alerts…

  7. Soul Walker 11/02/2013 at 7:25 am #

    I have totally been there… as both characters in this masterful play (except that they saw an incredibly averaged size penis instead of a sausage wallet when I was playing your fantastic role).

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:26 pm #

      But they saw the most INCREDIBLE averaged size penis in the world.

  8. michellestodden 11/02/2013 at 7:36 am #

    I love to start my weekend off with hilarious stories about your vagina. Well, that and coffee.

  9. Melanie 11/02/2013 at 7:45 am #

    You told this story like a champ. I loved every word, you know, minus flashing a poor innocent jogger.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:32 pm #

      If I’m going to humiliate myself, you guys might as well get something out of it.

  10. Aimee 11/02/2013 at 7:51 am #

    Oh my God, this was too funny! Thanks for starting out my day with a smile :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:36 pm #

      I’m sure you didn’t anticipate starting your day off with someone else’s vagina, but I’m glad it made you smile!

  11. Ruby Tuesday 11/02/2013 at 7:51 am #

    Okay, your comment to the park ranger was just absolutely priceless, and I love so much that not only are you clearly not going to die of humiliation any time soon — because I would seriously miss you lots — you’ve got “the outgoing guts” (in the words of of Sylvia Plath) to make these moments writable and let us share in the fun.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:38 pm #

      I think all my years of being terribly awkward have thickened my skin to this kind of shit. Thank goodness because I’d be dead ten times over.

  12. Brother Jon 11/02/2013 at 7:51 am #

    I think these are the Times when you need to learn new tricks, like wiggling….your ears, or something with your wonderful eyebrows. It may give just enough distraction to make a difference.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:38 pm #

      I can actually wiggle my ears (the whole ear, not the tops) and touch my tongue to my nose. Not sure if that would have helped the situation, a half naked lady wiggling her ears.

      I think you’re on to something with the eyebrows.

  13. NotAPunkRocker 11/02/2013 at 7:54 am #

    Hey, you go on a nature walk, you’re gonna see nature. :-D

  14. Vanessa-Jane Chapman 11/02/2013 at 8:27 am #

    Oh my lordy lou! You did pick a rather exposed place though I must say. Once I was in a store we have over here called Matalan, and they just had one bathroom for men and women, just the one big cubicle, I went in to use it and obviously didn’t lock the door properly because just as I had finished and was pulling my pants up, a man walked in – he and I both froze momentarily and stared at each other, then he said “Oh sorry”, and what did I say? “That’s ok!”. That’s ok? Like hey, come on in, no problem!

    • daniheart21 11/02/2013 at 8:39 am #

      giggling at Vanessa.

      • Vanessa-Jane Chapman 11/02/2013 at 9:56 am #

        Hehe, the other bit that I forgot to add was that about 10 minutes later I found myself in line to pay at the checkout with him standing right behind me!

        • daniheart21 11/02/2013 at 11:29 am #

          lol. Yeah… I have a similar story to the one Jen posted that I may post sometime this month. Why is it so funny when we get caught peeing. lol

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:40 pm #

      Believe it or not, this was the most secluded part of the trail. The first half is switchbacks which means people can see you from above and below. The second half is small, winding trails that are sandwiched between waterfalls and a rock face.

      Getting caught on the toilet in a restroom SUCKS. There is such a false sense of security when you’re in there, and when someone walks in you feel totally violated.

  15. pouringmyartout 11/02/2013 at 8:32 am #

    umm… you managed to handle that with grace and dignity… sort of… I think that traditionally, the idea of peeing in the great outdoors in a well used area involves stopping BEHIND a bush or tree… just something to think about…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:42 pm #

      See my comment to Vanessa above. The place behind the bushes doesn’t exist…a straight drop off the side of a mountain. After writing this, I think it would have been better to just die.

      • pouringmyartout 11/02/2013 at 2:02 pm #

        There is always a tree or bush somewhere you can get behind… that is how nature works.

        • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 2:04 pm #

          True, you can get behind one, but your ass will still be exposed for all the hikers behind and below you to see.

          • pouringmyartout 11/02/2013 at 2:10 pm #

            Well… you have to do what you have to do do… ha… see what I did there?

          • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 2:41 pm #

            You bring up a good point. Next time, I’m taking a dump and letting it fall on someone’s head.

          • pouringmyartout 11/02/2013 at 2:46 pm #

            Well then you have to climb a tree… which is a whole other thing…

  16. daniheart21 11/02/2013 at 8:38 am #

    Is it wrong that I get so much enjoyment out of these posts. lol Poor Jen, and good for you for not bowing to the pressure of shaving. I think most people who encounter this have that awkward moment and then just leave thank goodness. I have been walked in on in bathroom stalls that didn’t lock properly before. eeek. In this regard men are so much luckier than we are. sighs… but the worst time….was a story a lot like yours.. so maybe that will be a post. :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:43 pm #

      Well, there’s no reason for me to shave. I have a better chance of getting swallowed whole by a snake than I do of getting a date. I’m not going through that trouble for myself.

      And yes, please post your story. You’ve got 30 days to fill this month!

      • daniheart21 11/02/2013 at 1:46 pm #

        Jen…. I just literally laughed out loud. yes..I have 30 days. I am working on today’s post right now. ;)

      • jennifer p 11/02/2013 at 3:47 pm #

        amen sister

  17. Twindaddy 11/02/2013 at 8:53 am #

    Sausage wallet. Bwahahaha. Haven’t heard that one before.

  18. midwestkite 11/02/2013 at 9:01 am #

    That was HILARIOUS!!

  19. Stacie Chadwick 11/02/2013 at 9:07 am #

    Any girl with a vag chillin like a villain is A-OK in my book, misdemeanor or not.

    You make me laugh Jen, again, misdemeanor or not. =)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:45 pm #

      I imagine your vag being very laid-back as well, sipping on margaritas while laying in a hammock.

  20. Nicely done, sistah! I’ve popped many a squat on dusty trails, I totes get it. Never been caught tho, oops! When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. My son’s hiked that very trail, and never saw THAT, but he did get chased by a bear! Holla!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:47 pm #

      He got chased by a wear on this trail?! Wow, that’s bold of the bears considering this isn’t a primitive hike. They must have heard there was a lady flashing people and wanted to check it out for themselves.

  21. SocietyRed 11/02/2013 at 9:19 am #

    Hilarious Jen!
    Anything goes on the trail, right? Wait, I mean everything.
    But were you even alive when Nixon was in office?
    Red

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:48 pm #

      Thanks for pointing out the historical inaccuracy in this piece. It would have been Ronald Reagan.

      • SocietyRed 11/02/2013 at 1:59 pm #

        It’s the anal in me. It’s what I do.

        • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 2:01 pm #

          HAHA! That’s why your book will read like, well, a book, and mine will read like a drunk child’s notebook.

          • SocietyRed 11/02/2013 at 2:05 pm #

            Actually people will literally die laughing reading your book because you’re so fucking funny. Like that monty python joke that kills people. My book may outlive me in the editing process. Wow. I just said “my book”. Gave me a funny feeling.

          • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 2:06 pm #

            YOUR BOOK. YOUR BOOK. YOUR BOOK.

            Exciting as shit.

  22. The Bumble Files 11/02/2013 at 10:13 am #

    Hilarious, Jen!! I’m laughing about you not accounting for the jogging. Hee hee. Otherwise, you know it would have worked. So funny!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:49 pm #

      I probably would have done the “squeeze and peek” method in which I let a small amount trickle out, stand up, take a peek and then go back to peeing. I got way too comfortable.

  23. philosophermouseofthehedge 11/02/2013 at 11:20 am #

    Too funny! (so real)
    I hate hiking switchbacks….and not having appropriately placed bushes when needed.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:52 pm #

      Switchbacks are the worst, totally unforgiving. Luckily, the guy who caught a glimpse of me was VERY forgiving.

  24. Riya Anne Polcastro 11/02/2013 at 12:11 pm #

    ROFL for the jogger haha! It was probably pretty scary for him… lady in the woods with her pants down and a big ol’ bush… that’s the stuff urban legends are made out of! No wonder her ran the other way.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:52 pm #

      He’s going to tell this story around a campfire one day with a flashlight held up to his chin.

  25. strawberryquicksand 11/02/2013 at 12:34 pm #

    Ohhhh thanks for the laugh! I am sooo reblogging! P.s. if you like a laugh you might enjoy my blog post about getting a brazillian wax… and feel better bout your furby! hehe http://strawberryquicksand.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/my-first-and-last-brazilian/

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:55 pm #

      Heading to your post now, and I can already tell you I feel your pain. I wrote a month or so ago about my experience with a waxing. She was an evil pube mistress.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:56 pm #

      Oh, you know what? I’ve read it before! So freaking hilarious.

  26. strawberryquicksand 11/02/2013 at 12:37 pm #

    Reblogged this on Strawberryquicksand and commented:
    If you want to pee your panties laughing, read on!

  27. vggbouiz 11/02/2013 at 1:55 pm #

    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 1:57 pm #

      Are you sending dick pics from your phone? If so, I approve.

  28. skpadilla 11/02/2013 at 1:58 pm #

    I think I’ve hiked that trail, or it’s one I’d like to hike! I’ve done some trail running, and those urgent bathroom breaks are never easy!

  29. MyTwoCents 11/02/2013 at 3:22 pm #

    This is all too much, and all too awesome! Furby? Sausage wallet? HA. I am so glad I found me some Jen and Tonic!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 4:53 pm #

      I’m glad you found me too! Now we can laugh about our hairy potters together.

  30. meganorussell 11/02/2013 at 3:33 pm #

    I have peed by many trails, but I have never been caught. I now know why some women wear hiking skirts.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 4:52 pm #

      I just realized that’s why women wear them. I just thought it was because they were trying to bring a touch of class to the wilderness.

  31. jennifer p 11/02/2013 at 3:46 pm #

    thats really funny .next time maybe wear depends.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 4:51 pm #

      GENIUS. I’m not opposed to hiking in my own filth.

  32. likedandsharedthis 11/02/2013 at 6:10 pm #

    Reblogged this on Like and Share This!.

  33. Veronica Roth 11/02/2013 at 6:47 pm #

    Lol, I once had a pee in the bushes on the French alps. I’d been hiking like crazy and couldn’t get away from people and finally I found a spot and had to pee so badly that I didn’t notice the stinging nettles. I can hear you laughing. :)

    • Jen and Tonic 11/02/2013 at 10:19 pm #

      You got stung by stinging nettles? In your private parts? HOLY CRAP.

  34. Psychobabble 11/02/2013 at 10:52 pm #

    Glorious. I have so many tales of soaking my socks in the woods. Best of which is when my partner is forced to stand behind me and flap his hands to create wind so that the swarms of mosquitoes from hell don’t bite me on the large piece of real estate that is my ass. You’re in good company.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 12:05 am #

      Soaking the socks is the WORST. You’re either forced to continue to walk in your pee, or take off your socks and walk in your shoes barefoot.

      Very sweet of Mr. Babble to make sure that the bugs didn’t eat your ass off.

  35. Edee Lemonier 11/02/2013 at 11:37 pm #

    Hysterical! And precisely why hiking out here scares the bejeebus out of me: pretty sure I have the world’s smallest bladder. I have to pee 4 times before I can go up to the top of Multnomah Falls, for crying out loud!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 12:04 am #

      HA! I need one of those “she pee” things that are like funnels for your vagina so you can stand while peeing. I’ll try to see if there is a BOGO deal so we can have matching ones.

      • Edee Lemonier 11/03/2013 at 7:41 am #

        Oh hey, that would be awesome! Maybe I can use it to practice peeing in a cup for the doctor and actually getting it in the damn container?

      • Psychobabble 11/03/2013 at 6:04 pm #

        Oh, snap. I *just* posted my she-wee comment and then I saw this! Better go read her post, if you haven’t already.

  36. rarasaur 11/03/2013 at 1:18 am #

    Haha! Oh man, this is hilarious!! The panic response that makes us do exactly the wrong thing is such a weird brain thing. Scientists need to solve this, pronto! On a side note, outdoor peeing is one of many reasons that I don’t hike. I think I’d die from bladder explosion before voluntarily peeing on a rock.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 9:23 pm #

      It’s all about the panic for me. This is also why I once nearly bit the tip of my tongue off when a hot guy asked me for directions. Instead of being, you know, normal, I made myself bleed.

      I would offer to help you learn how to pee outdoors, but that would be creepy.

  37. She's a Maineiac 11/03/2013 at 4:43 am #

    Bwah hahahhhhhaaaaa!!! Holy crap! Hilarious! This is totally something that would happen to me. You are such a good storyteller. Made me spew my coffee all over the place.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 9:25 pm #

      I’m glad I’m not alone in this. Maybe we can show our vaginas to strangers together sometime.

  38. Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher 11/03/2013 at 6:26 am #

    You’re my hero!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 9:25 pm #

      And all it took was a little nudity. I should have known.

  39. Madame Weebles 11/03/2013 at 12:33 pm #

    You had me at “sausage wallet.” Yours is an important cautionary tale: when hiking, ladies, wear a few layers of Depends.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 9:26 pm #

      An adult diaper is still sexier than most of my underwear.

      • Madame Weebles 11/03/2013 at 9:27 pm #

        Mine too. I say we launch a new line of erotic adult diapers. They’ll sell like crazy.

  40. The Hook 11/03/2013 at 5:45 pm #

    You make the outdoors come alive, my friend.
    Well done.

  41. writerwendyreid 11/03/2013 at 9:35 pm #

    That sounds like something I would do. I have the worst luck, every time I decide to “take a chance”…. Oh…the line about Furby? Made me laugh out loud. ;-) xo

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 11:59 pm #

      We should never, under any circumstance, pee together. We’d gather a crowd.

  42. Aussa Lorens 11/03/2013 at 10:09 pm #

    I just died.
    This reminds me of trying to pee in a squattie in China while all the women gathered around to get a good look like they were curious whether mine would look like theirs. *cringe*
    This post made me bol. bellow out loud.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/03/2013 at 11:33 pm #

      Your vagina may be a celebrity in China now, you never know. It’ll get a Coca Cola endorsement deal, I’m sure.

      Also, I’m going to tell people they must only BOL from now on. Fuck LOL. That’s played out.

      • Aussa Lorens 11/04/2013 at 6:37 am #

        You’re so glass half full, I love it– hopefully those royalty checks will be rolling in soon…

  43. PinotNinja 11/04/2013 at 8:31 am #

    HAHAHA! But, really where better to go au natural then in, you know, actual nature?

    Also, what is up with Maury taking forever to reveal the father? Why do they have to introduce 2-3 trainwrecks before going back and resolving the first one? One trainwreck at a time, Maury, one at a time!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/06/2013 at 12:42 am #

      The build up in a Maury show is better than some suspense movies Hollywood puts out. They need to hire that guy. “Darth Vader, in the case of little baby Luke….you……………………..ARE the father!”

  44. GiggsMcGill Jill 11/04/2013 at 2:32 pm #

    First: I saw your sentence about, “This hike was listed as “easy” but I quickly learned it’s only easy if you’re Jillian” and was like, “OH, How nice! I didn’t realize Jen thought I was athletic!”

    Then I finished the sentence.

    Gah, that Jillian Michaels. Always stealing my thunder.

    But second: I seriously lol’d. Nice.

    • Jen and Tonic 11/06/2013 at 12:43 am #

      Oh, I think you’re VERY athletic. In your avatar you have a sport red sweatshirt on. I have no doubt that photo was taken at the last Olympics, where you were competing.

  45. Anna Lea West 11/08/2013 at 5:19 am #

    WHY have I just found you???!!!! I don’t know either, but I’m glad I did :)

  46. vyvacious 11/10/2013 at 12:54 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m dyingggggg!!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/11/2013 at 11:04 am #

      Just be thankful I had gotten flashing people I just met out of my system before we roomed together.

      • vyvacious 11/11/2013 at 11:10 am #

        I am thankful. Or is it disappointed? Either way, I’m feeling some emotions.

  47. mytwistedroad 11/10/2013 at 3:45 pm #

    OMG!!! This is the funniest shit EVER!

    • Jen and Tonic 11/11/2013 at 11:05 am #

      I approve of you spreading the word about me being the funniest person on the internet.

      • mytwistedroad 11/11/2013 at 11:10 am #

        DONE! Ohhh, and I like that you are bringing back “Vag” … I got tired of “Pikachu”!

        • Jen and Tonic 11/11/2013 at 11:13 am #

          PIKA PIKA!

          • mytwistedroad 11/11/2013 at 11:15 am #

            I think you need to write something on the various references there are for our lady parts!

          • Jen and Tonic 11/11/2013 at 11:21 am #

            This is the 3rd time someone has suggested that. Apparently I’m the vagina expert.

          • mytwistedroad 11/11/2013 at 11:28 am #

            You’re the one with the balls to touch that subject! :-)

            Totally off topic: How long have you been blogging?

          • Jen and Tonic 11/11/2013 at 11:38 am #

            I just celebrated my 2 year bloggiversary not too long ago. I can’t believe it, actually.

          • mytwistedroad 11/11/2013 at 11:54 am #

            Glad I stumbled upon this blog! Keep keepin’ it REAL!! (I hate when people say that, by the way, but there’s no other way to say it).

          • Jen and Tonic 11/11/2013 at 11:54 am #

            I’m glad you’re here too. You’re officially a Hooked on Tonic!

  48. Ned's Blog 11/20/2013 at 10:22 pm #

    I THOUGHT that was you. I often jog that way because I like to see the Gorge. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but…

    • Jen and Tonic 11/24/2013 at 2:52 pm #

      I apologize, Ned. Send me your therapy bills.

      • Ned's Blog 11/24/2013 at 6:15 pm #

        Thank you. And thank you for making it plural… ;)

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