12 Days of Christmas- Day 8

17 Dec

Every year when Christmas approaches, I get really excited. Because of Baby Jesus? No. Because of all the presents I’m going to receive? No. Because of the paid day off from work? Nope. My panties get electrified because of the salmonella-laden drink we call Eggnog.

I have a love-hate relationship with The ‘Nog. When I first see this holiday treat decorating the dairy section, I do a little happy dance right in the middle of the aisle. It looks like a cross between the Harlem Shake and the Cabbage Patch. Basically, shit gets crazy at Safeway.

You too can do "The Eggnog" in your local grocery store. (credit: Polycore)

You too can do “The Eggnog” in your local grocery store (credit: Polyvore)

Unfortunately, my enthusiasm causes me to lose my ability to judge how much eggnog I can drink before I want to die. I always go for the big carton, have a couple of glasses, and then regret my decision to purchase so much buttermilk liquid butter of the raw egg concoction.

I let it sit in my fridge for at least a week before I’m forced to make a crucial decision. Do I guzzle the remainder of the container, or do I admit my mistake and throw it away? I’m the world’s biggest cheapskate so there’s no way I’m tossing my money down the drain like that.

Ready the 'noggy battlefield

Ready the ‘noggy battlefield

Drinking the last of the eggnog is a complicated and painful process for me. It looks something like this:

Day 1: Contemplate drinking the eggnog, but watch “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” instead.

Day 2: Open carton and sniff it. Order pizza and then claim I’m too full to eat or drink anything else.

Day 3: Check the expiration date and see that I have a few more days. SCORE!

Day 4: Pray that the eggnog will magically disappear. Cuss like a sailor when I see that it’s still there.

Day 5: Drink a glass. Unbutton pants and let the bloat set in.

Day 6: Avoid the kitchen at all costs and eat a chip that fell out of my bra the night before.

Day 7: Decide to woman up, and drink the rest of the carton. I’M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!

champion

Today’s challenge is to tell me if you overindulge in a certain holiday treat, and how you manage to get through it.

Last, but not least, I want to congratulate Dani Heart who is Day 7′s winner! E-mail me at Sipsofjenandtonic@gmail.com to claim your prize.

Hasta mañana…

76 Responses to “12 Days of Christmas- Day 8”

  1. Le Clown 12/17/2012 at 4:20 am #

    Jen,
    Eggnog. Foul. And it’s sad when the only one I enjoy is a pre-fabricated one found in a convenience store…
    What do I indulge during the holidays. Well…
    Coffee? Nah… I indulge in coffee 365 days a year.
    Candies: Idem.
    Time on my computer, guilt free : About the same.
    Time with my kids: Already wish school and daycare would resume their activities.
    Time with the in-laws: Being pampered is good.
    Sleep: Who needs sleep anyway. It’s overrated.
    Tracy Fulks: That’s it! That’s what I will be indulging on this year! Tracy Fulks with our family for the New Year’s celebrations!
    Hellz yeah!
    Le Clown

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:10 pm #

      Tracy Fulks is better than any creamy egg-y drink could ever be. I’m so jealous.

  2. Stacie Chadwick 12/17/2012 at 5:09 am #

    J&T,

    Although I think you have spectacular taste, especially for someone who’s, like, not even 18 and hasn’t fully developed her buds yet (Ha! Get it? Buds? Double meaning! I’m flying without a net on this one!).

    Anyway, I have to agree with Le Clown. Eggnog ain’t my thing.

    I’ve never tried to mix it with Maker’s though. That could change my mind, and be like, the new drink of the holiday season. Right up there with green bean casserole-flavored Mad Dog.

    xoxo
    GG

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:11 pm #

      My buds are coming in just fine THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

      Trust me, put a little whiskey in it and you’ll never doubt eggnog again.

  3. Cathy Ulrich 12/17/2012 at 6:39 am #

    Eggnog is better if it’s cut with Meyer’s Dark Rum and a little grating of nutmeg. But maybe it’s just best to skip Eggnog all together? But I guess, I do like it – the creamy, tongue coating goodness. My indulgence? I don’t watch T.V. much the rest of the year – but somehow I feel compelled to watch all the Christmas reruns – How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Ruldolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman. And then I have to pull out my copy of “Scrooged.” What is Christmas without Bill Murray screaming “Merry Christmas to us every one!”

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:12 pm #

      It is probably best for a person to skip eggnog entirely, but I can’t help myself. I love spiking it, never added nutmeg though. How fancy! I’ll have to drink it with my pinky up.

  4. writerwendyreid 12/17/2012 at 6:48 am #

    I like egg nog, but one glass on christmas morning is enough for me. My daughter, however, wants to know why it isn`t sold year round. I have one question though. Can I eat the next chip that falls out of your bra?

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:15 pm #

      I do know eggnog addicts like your daughter. I always think, “Yeah, that’s normal” and then I drink a glass. I’m done.

      Sure, I’ll make sure to airmail all of the food that falls out of my bra. Trust me, you could eat a whole meal.

  5. Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher 12/17/2012 at 6:49 am #

    Irish Creme in my coffee….and chocolate marshmallow items…

  6. aliceatwonderland 12/17/2012 at 6:50 am #

    Better question: Is there anything I don’t indulge in? Sweeeeeets! And they’re freaking everywhere. Pumpkin pie, cake, cookies, buttermilk pie (I could eat an entire one in one sitting, curse my husband for introducing me to it), fudge, and on and on. Also, we have a big breakfast on Christmas morning at my parent’s house. Bacon, eggs, biscuits, gravy, the freaking works. OMG I love bacon. But other than that, I’m so good.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:16 pm #

      “Bacon, eggs, biscuits, gravy…” I just fell in love with you.

  7. Christopher De Voss 12/17/2012 at 6:58 am #

    Eggnog rocks, but I avoid it because it’s sooooooo bad for you.

    Instead I overindulge in wishing I didn’t have to spend so much money on Christmas presents and listening to Bruce Springsteen sing: Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:16 pm #

      It is bad for you. I take a year off of my life each time I drink it, I’m sure of it.

      Bruce Springsteen is such a badass.

  8. twindaddy 12/17/2012 at 7:21 am #

    Eggnog is the shit!! I love me some eggnog. I overindulge on eggnog. Oh, and the Reese’s Christmas tree candies.

  9. saradraws 12/17/2012 at 9:04 am #

    I have no trouble polishing off eggnog, I admit. I feel guilty because I’m too cheap to buy enough for everyone, but too weak willed to leave any for anyone else.
    I indulge more in BOOZE. For real. Living with a sober clown and having youngins around means 6 am EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. SO, when no child needs to be fed or driven by me the next day….oooohhhh yeah. Hang with old friends, leave the house with makeup on…lots o fancy stuff.. My folks are also sober, so really, the holidays is the only time I get to hang with people that drink. So, when can I pencil you in?

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:19 pm #

      I don’t want to wait for a holiday to do that stuff with you. I WILL be visiting the Carnie household in 2013.

  10. daniheart21 12/17/2012 at 9:04 am #

    I too must confess to being a bonafied memeber of the eggnog lovers committee. :) Oh but Jen, you just need to make your own. It’s easy.. so easy…and SO much better for you. I will send you the recipe. I made it last night in fact and Noelle and I indulged. Yummmm I get excited when I see the cartons in the store too cause then I know it’s time to make it. :)

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:24 pm #

      Thanks for the recipe! I saw it quickly this morning, and it looks delicious. You’re such a domestic goddess.

  11. Lyssapants 12/17/2012 at 9:56 am #

    I have a similar relationship with that eggy drink. And I am also a cheapskate.
    I indulge in too many sugary coffee drinks with all them holiday flavors like mint…and gingerbread….and pumpkin……and lard…..mmmmmmmm.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:26 pm #

      Lard Spice Latte? You know all of the good “off the menu” drinks.

  12. becca3416 12/17/2012 at 9:58 am #

    Jen this is me to a tee every year with the nog. Even worse was when I bought the alcoholic nog. STAY AWAY from it you hear me?

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:27 pm #

      I am going to try, but hot damn its pull is strong.

  13. Justcallmegertie 12/17/2012 at 10:03 am #

    Christmastime is summertime in Johannesburg, so braai’s (barbecues), swimming pools and lots of booze is the order of the day. My childhood memories of Christmas include sitting on the lawn stuffing ourselves with watermelon. We would buy a whole one, cut it up in large slices eat it until you felt like puking, and then wash off all the stickiness in the swimming pool. Now that I am grown up I prefer the cocktail versions of watermelon liquidized!
    Have never had eggnog…

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:28 pm #

      Wow, what a different experience for Christmas! It snows here, lots of rain, windy; at minimum, it’s very cold. A Christmas BBQ sounds really, really awesome.

      • Justcallmegertie 12/20/2012 at 2:58 am #

        It is quite different. Always love finding out how people spend the holidays. I am travelling this year Christmas though and will be in the UK (cold, windy, lots of rain :-)), so will leave the BBQ for New Year!

  14. Janene 12/17/2012 at 10:03 am #

    I am so NOT a fan of egg nog but I respect your obsession because I think you are cool. As for mine? Lindt chocolate truffles. I love them all year and Christmas time is no different. I swear one of my butt cheeks has a soft chocolate center. Seriously. It’s a sickness.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:29 pm #

      If your butt cheek has a soft chocolate center, it might as well be filled with Lindt. Those things are the bomb.

  15. iRuniBreathe 12/17/2012 at 10:17 am #

    Being a vegan, I’ve got to say no thanks to the egg-breath. I know that I indulge a little more. this time of year.. I guess it’s shortbread cookies that I bake, and a little chocolate. And both these things taste so good and make me feel so terrible. So I’m slowly learning my lessons and trying to ease off on the quantity before my personal quality suffers.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:31 pm #

      You’re a vegan? Why did I not know that before? I can only eat one shortbread cookie before I start to feel like it’s too much. I *love* them though.

      • iRuniBreathe 12/17/2012 at 4:34 pm #

        I’m a non-everything. Dairy, fish, meat, gluten, chocolate, etc…..
        Yeah, it’s tough with shortbread. One bite and you feel full.. but I get over it pretty quick. Probably like you and Eggnog.

        • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:40 pm #

          I’m like that with Chinese food. I know I shouldn’t, but then I’m good with it upon that first bite.

  16. Carrie Rubin 12/17/2012 at 10:34 am #

    I’m in the process of overindulging right now as I read this post. It’s in the form of a cookie, and it has a chocolate kiss on top of it. Hhhhmmm, so chewy.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:32 pm #

      I love thumbdrop cookies. My grandmother made them every year. Peanut butter with a soft kiss on top. Soooooo good.

      • Carrie Rubin 12/17/2012 at 4:50 pm #

        I’ve always called them peanut blossoms (because that’s what my grandma called them). I like the name thumbdrop cookies though. I might start calling them that just to confuse my sons. That’s always a fun game.

  17. La La 12/17/2012 at 12:29 pm #

    I have never had eggnog….thoughts?

  18. calahan 12/17/2012 at 1:23 pm #

    I love egg nog! Egg nog lattes, egg nog in my coffee. It’s so good. I only allow myself one small carton each year and it’s gone within a week.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:33 pm #

      I need to follow the Calahan plan of a small carton. I get a two-quarter and it’s just way too much.

  19. nikkix2 12/17/2012 at 1:34 pm #

    I stay away from that Nog sh*t,,,just the look and consistancy make me gag. Especially when it’s starting to go off and it’s getting a slight chunky consistency, it reminds me of a old man”s nasty jizz (is that how it’s spelt), or a guy with a nasty std.

    Now, this year, starting this Friday late afternoon,,I shall start to partake on my mummy’s specially awesome Date Squares and Peanut Butter Balls,,now them’s some balls I can do in one big gulp and lick my lips after!

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:36 pm #

      Seriously, I am laughing so hard at “old man’s nasty jizz…” SO FUNNY!!!! It is how it looks, I’ll admit. I’ll never be able to drink it without thinking that.

  20. vyvacious 12/17/2012 at 2:43 pm #

    I don’t think I’ve ever tasted eggnog… What the hell is wrong with me? Or what the the hell is right…? Not sure at this point.

  21. Bill Friday 12/17/2012 at 3:16 pm #

    Just WHO THE HELL does NOT have need of a 24 hour a day support group for Egg Nog addiction?!?!?!?!?! My apologies to any culture, sub-culture, region, religion or dietary abstinence group that may have been offended just now by my Egg Nog fueled Jones rant. Today is December 17th, and I have yet to get my Nog on this happy holiday season (blame my dearly departed gallbladder).

    And yes, I have played around with all manner of brown liquor in my Nog, and have come to the conclusion that aged, single malt Irish whiskey is my brown beverage of choice during my times of heavy Nogging. Also, I think it helps kill the bacteria if you let your Nog grow a holiday beard in your fridge. Oh, and grate the nutmeg over the top all fresh when serving.

    Happy Nogging, and (if you’re very lucky) Happy Snogging everyone!!!

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:38 pm #

      I do believe there is an adorable picture of you floating around on the internet post-Christmas boozefest. Sleeping so peacefully…well, except for that vomit in your hair. You can pull it off though.

  22. Fern DeVilliers 12/17/2012 at 4:10 pm #

    I don’t do eggnog, and I don’t really over-indulge specifically at holiday time – that is something I do all year long the week before my period. I do however, have a love/hate relationship with sushi, like I love it, and I want to eat it, and I want to go to an all-you-can-eat place to get it, but then at some point, it goes from a “want” to “I’m going to throw up if I eat even one more piece”, and then I have to get the hell out of there before I make a mess all over their nasty red carpet. It takes me about six months before I can go back and do it again.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/17/2012 at 4:39 pm #

      You’re right. That week before your period really is like Christmas: chocolate, cookies, a whole turkey.

  23. Human In Recovery 12/17/2012 at 4:48 pm #

    Eggnog and Christmas cookies – especially the buttery shortbread Danish ones – wait, no rich, dense, chocolatey goodness infused with nutty crunchiness – oh, oh, I know, the little round crumbly, melty, ones covered in white confectioner’s sugar with the big kiss shaped dollop of chocolate.

    So, um, yeah. Since I no longer have a job outside the home I am not exposed to the treats and goodies from co-workers or work functions. Thanks to lack of a vehicle and physical health limitations I can carry milk home or the ‘nog. So, my method of dealing this year is avoidance.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:51 am #

      The treats at work are the worst. I seriously think I gained 10 pounds at the end of the year last year. I worked with people who could SERIOUSLY bake, and I sat right next to where they’d put the treats out.

      • Human In Recovery 12/19/2012 at 6:16 pm #

        With my compulsive emotional eating I probably would have had to ask them to find another place for them and let them know the treats would be enjoyed by others.

        Not being able to bake is kind of a bonus for me in this instance.

  24. UndercoverL 12/17/2012 at 5:19 pm #

    I hate egg nog too, but I forget how much I hate it until I am halfway through my second glass. My husband, on the other (disgusting) hand, will drink it by the gallon. (I think it’s just his excuse to drink copious amounts of rum. He just pretends he likes the egg nog, which takes a strong stomach and a lot of balls.) I don’t know what I hate more: egg nog or my siblings. I had egg nog this year. I haven’t seen my siblings since last July. I am excited when I see egg nog on the shelf at the store. I am miserable at the thought of ever spending time with my siblings. I spend money on egg nog. I don’t spend stamps on my siblings. Egg nog wins. I think I hate my siblings more.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:52 am #

      Your husband drinks it by the gallon? He must have bionic intestines. That would surely send me into a sugar coma.

      • UndercoverL 12/19/2012 at 11:37 am #

        There is nothing bionic about my husband’s intestines. They are truly the most offensive bowels ever. I just figured it’s not worth the fight to keep him from the ‘nog. I think the sugar is tempered by the gallons of rum. It’s like bananas flambe without bananas.

  25. artsifrtsy 12/17/2012 at 6:30 pm #

    I love eggnog, but mom’s homemade spoiled me for anything off the shelf. These days I indulge in McDonald’s Holiday Pie – mmmmmmm

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:53 am #

      I’ve heard so much about this homemade eggnog. I need to give it a whirl this year.

      • artsifrtsy 12/19/2012 at 1:28 pm #

        My mom “fortified” hers with brandy and amaretto – mmmmm

  26. Enchanted Seashells 12/17/2012 at 7:34 pm #

    If I told you what eggnog makes me think of, you wouldn’t like me anymore.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:54 am #

      Oh, I have a pretty good idea. I think Nikki put it best when she said it was like an “old man’s nasty jizz.”

  27. davidhardingblogs 12/17/2012 at 8:11 pm #

    I don’t think I’ve ever eaten an egg nog.
    On Christmas day I like to eat Dutch cobbler.
    Very much.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:55 am #

      Just looked up Dutch Cobbler. I need that in my life.

  28. Love and Lunchmeat 12/18/2012 at 7:47 pm #

    I love eggnog, but pumpkin pie is my true downfall. I always eat the leftovers for breakfast every morning with coffee until it’s gone. This year I did it for ten days. On the eleventh day I took two bites, decided it was vile, and threw out the rest. I swear this has never happened before, but apparently the eleventh day is the point of diminishing returns.

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:56 am #

      Oh, pumpkin pie is another good one. I know people who eat a whole pie by themselves during the holidays. Ain’t no shame in that game. Unless you think eating too much and not fitting into your pants is shameful.

  29. Just Rambling 12/19/2012 at 3:30 am #

    I have never even had eggnog before! I’m in the States next week so I think I should try Eggnog, just because I want to experience that battle. ;)

    • Jen and Tonic 12/19/2012 at 10:57 am #

      You’re going to be in the US?! WHERE?!

      • Just Rambling 12/27/2012 at 9:22 am #

        Kansas City, Missouri! Sorry for the late reply though… I don’t have wifi all the time… Sooo I guess you don’t live anywhere near Missouri, do you? I haven’t had eggnog!! Gosh! I’m bummed! You have some left??? :D

  30. travellingmo 12/21/2012 at 9:53 am #

    Yum. Eggnog.
    My boyfriend is vegan so we get the soy nog! Let me tell you, there is no problem consuming that in our household. We need to restrain ourselves so that we don’t finish it too quickly. It could also be the amount of spiced rum we put in it though. . .

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