Have you ever wondered what your mail would say about you? I never gave it any thought until I started receiving mail for someone who used to live in my apartment. When we first moved in I expected there to be some overlap, but we are still regularly receiving mail for a person who hasn’t lived here for nearly a year. Just when I think it has finally stopped, I find an invitation to a college alumni event for a university in Tennessee in my mailbox.
Who is this person who had to leave in such a hurry that she couldn’t submit a change of address form to the postal service? Was she a fugitive running from the long arm of the law? Was she a model who suddenly left for a career-making photo shoot? Was she someone who was turned on by the thought of strangers rifling through her mail? I tried looking her up on Facebook, but unlike me, she has a life which is not consumed by hours of social media interaction.
So I put on my detective hat, and looked at the evidence.
Mail former tenant has received in the last week:
- Supplements catalog
- BMW dealership flyer
- Church newsletter
- Tanning salon coupon
- Dental cleaning reminder
- Curves “We Miss You!” postcard
- Victoria’s Secret catalog
One can only assume she looks something like this:
Mail I’ve received in the last week:
- Prilosec OTC sample (What?)
- Woman’s Day magazine
- Cleaning supplies coupon booklet
- Notice that I was getting an “age discount” on my car insurance
- Coupons for an all-you-can eat buffet
- Invitation to attend a seminar on saving for retirement
- Coldwater Creek catalog
- Flyer for a local waxing salon
If someone were to receive mail on my behalf, they could only assume I looked something like this:
What do you think your mail would say about you?